Flying in more ways than one

I have a lot of emotional type stuff I'm thinking about right now. It seems so bizarre when I write it down though. Then you add the thought that other people might read it - people you KNOW. That's just even weirder. It makes me realize how brave some bloggers are. Unabashed.
I'm thinking about moving alot lately. I bought some plane tickets for december. So I can go and SEE where I'm going to be living and working. Where I'm going to live and breath and resume my life. I'm excited about that. I'm scared about that. For a million reasons each. Ben is coming with me - for the weekend only. That's fabulous because we travel/explore/find adventures so well together. I can't wait. Let's go now. Meanwhile, when I come back - will I want to leave again immediately? Will Seattle finally squash me? Or will I want to stay for fear that I'm incapable of making this enormous change?
Also, very important, I will be a fly for Halloween.

Totally embarassing bird facts

Wow. I can't believe it's been an enitre week since I've updated this fucker. Sorry to the 2.5 people in the world reading this. I've been working and working and eating and sleeping (the usual) and I just haven't had the time. Promise to write an enitre novella tomorrow. It's almost halloween and I've got to go thrift shopping with Ben now.
Who know about birds? My bird keeps pickin at himself. I can't tell if he's agressively grooming or pulling out his feathers.
For those who don't know anything about birds: my bird masterbates. All the time. Seriously. Don't tell anyone.

Regis is 135 years old.

I'm trying on a new font today. What do you think? Does it look good on me?
First and foremost, I watched Napoleon Dynamite for the first time last night and it brought several wants and needs I've been having for a while to the forefront. Number one on the list has already made an appearance on my blog so it will come as no surprise to you; my darling little reader. Here we go,
Things I Want that Napoleon Dynamite Has:
1. A llama
2. A perm
3. A Jamerikwai tape ( I realize I spelled this wrong. But what ever happened to him? Seriously. With his big hats? It's his fault that I don't know how to spell it, if he was still in the spotlight I would.)
4. Kipp (My friend Brianna calls N.D.'s brother, Kipp, her "spirit animal". I wish I had said that first. Drat! Another missed opportunity.)

More importantly, my friend Carey has gotten me involved with the Reel Grrls program. In summary, it's a girls only program to reenforce positive media images/media production by and for women. The girls are ages 14 through 18. Did you know a woman has never won an Oscar for directing? No shit. So I'm teaching a workshop for their upcoming retreat and... AND.... I don't know how I'm not going to swear for 3 days. I swear four times a second.
I'm driving to my parking garage with my friend Pat last night and she says, "How the hell are we not gonna drink and smoke for 3 fucking days??" I love this. Pat's granddaughter is in the program. Reel Grrls. Not "THE PROGRAM." Patty is the hottest grandma ever.
So Carey has us go for drinks before dragging us to her godforsaken mini orientation at the YMCA. WHICH, turns out to be not only a meet and greet for Reel Grrls but also all the MANY, MUNDO programs for the YMCA. They are all great by the way. I must admit that I was a little turned off by the one that helps teen agers stay longer in their shitty jobs and teaches them to "network" and "use the correct utensils at a fancy dinner." Dude. They are 15 and working at Burger King. Don't teach them to stay and network. Teach them to take secret video tapes of the cooks sneezing on the burgers and get the hell out of there!
I digress.
I forgot what i really wanted to say here.
To another list:
1. Can't swear AS MUCH around teens who probably swear more than I do.
2. No drinky
3. No smokie

I can do two and three no problem. We'll see how this goes. But thinking about doing #1 makes me want to go on a binge. Teens are scary. I'm excited about the program though and fully support it. I even gave them my thumb print!
Must stop writing. Have no brain. Can't write/think straight. Must go watch regis... What is he? 135?

Get your daily dose. Of Llama.

Hello little blog. Hi little world. I don't have much time today. So I am sending a picture of a llama to calm your blog entry needs. She's a beauty.

In the beginning - there was slight keyboard trouble

I wrote this beautiful post yesterday and I managed to erase it. Can you believe that? Poop on me. I must be retarded. But, in case you're interested, here is a brief overview:
Major of Crazytown, prefightin, big conversation coming up, I'm really sicky, Space Virgins saved me.
Wasn't that fun and educational?
So I've been sick the last few days - I'm going back to work this morning. Usually, because I work at a breakfast restaurant I have to wake up at incredibly ungodly hours. Today, and I have no reason why, I get to sleep in until 10 in the morning. What a gift. What a gift except for the fact that my body is trained to get up at that ungodly hour mentioned before and I just can't sleep in. Anyway, I'm going back to work and I'm no longer in grave danger of snotting in anyone's pancakes so that's good. I have at least 70% less snot this morning.
For the past two months the letters "g" and "h" have not really been working on my laptop. They stick and it had gotten to the point where you'd have to hold the letter down for a while to get it to type. This is the most annoying thing in the whole wide world. Good time to start a blog wouldn't you say? Thank you very much, I am know for my special version of genius. Last night I ran into my friend Jole who originally gifted this laptop to me. I told him about the problem.
"did you hit it?"
Now, call me crazy but I've been told on mulitple occations that hitting electronics does nothing except hurt your hand and maybe your pride. I actually saw an online poll once that published reports that up to 80% of abandoned, trashed and recycled computers had signs of abuse. Like shaken baby syndrom for computers. I digress. He asked me if I hit it (hot), I said "no" and he gave me a few other things I can do to the fix the problem.
So I'm sitting here this morning, holding down that god forsaken "g" for the umptenth time. This shit is super duper annoying. I tip the damn computer upside down and give it a good thump.
Oh my god.

GGGGGOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fuckin "g" works like a charm. Fixed. Thump your software people. It will thank you for it. Your blog too. Lord knows mine was quickly becoming a blo.

Inclosed is a pictorial shout out to Jole the computer genius. it is a shot of us in our piggy suits eating a sandwich. I like to keep things classy.

In the beginning...

I've been reading ramblings on blogger for a while now. Today, as I sit home sick, coughing, medicine headish in my chair - I decided it's time I start one. I've been doing a lot of personal work in my head lately. I'm preparing myself to move to New York city from where I'm currently located: Seattle, Washington.
Seattle has blessed me. My beautiful chosen family is here. My burning man group, Flight To Mars has widened my vision, electrified my creative impluses, and made an evil genius of me in the last few years. My life here is colorful and unique. I've learned to apprieciate the rain and the concrete. I've found a love for apartments and traffic sounds. The city lights at night, so high in the sky.
Still, it's not home. It's not my ending place. I love it here and I know that I've been here much too long. I'm excited for that wave of emotion you get when you move; "I can see just how unhappy I've been."
I feel unwritten, unfinished and sometimes only half awake right now. Sometimes I wonder if I'm blaming the right element. Maybe its not the city, maybe it's just my age. Who really knows where the hell they are going at 25?
I am ready to work. I'm ready to wake up in the morning and be inspired by what is coming. I want to feel like I'm on a path to what I want. I want to know what I want and I want to know how to get there. I want to know how to get there and I want to believe that it is possible. I want to be inspired by my process. I want to sweat and write and build and stress. I want to strive for better even if this is the best I've done so far. I want to challenge myself.
I can't do this in Seattle. I know that. It's too relaxed. The way people communicate here is in words and dreams but nothing ever seems to come from it. Seattle art is all talk. Seattle art is cash poor. Seattle art is inspired and weird. I love that so much. When I say "seattle art" I mean all of it, visual, gorilla, fashion, theater, sound, improv, ect. I know these comments might make some people mad but I feel sick of being appologetic. I want to really create something detailed and different and new. Not even remotely a take off on some other idea.
I'm willing to believe that this is possible in Seattle. I'm just not o.k. with waitingg for it. Or waiting to find motivated people to do it with me. Dare I say, I'm not willing to take part in it if it cropped up here right now because I want to leave. I've been let down enough times. Gotta go. Seattle, I've got to break up with you. I love you and I'm sorry it didn't work out.
So I'm saving money, I really need to go visit and make it real. I have a place to stay in NYC, a hypothetical job too. I kinda need to get planted there before I know for sure, but it's a good bet. If it doesn't work out, ah well. I feel like if I go there and breath a little air, pound the pavement - it will be real to me. It will send me home with a fire in my belly. I really need that right now. I'll do anything to just get my head in the right space. That's what this blog is for. Preparing myself for the jouney. Right down the dialogue in my head.