2010: The End of The Bark?

Ernie is a teenager now - or a fine mix of teen and two year old. He knows full well how to sit, lay down and shake. He can even rollover with a little help. Ok. If you give him a push he will rollover. Ernie knows the words "bath", "Bisou" (his best buddy), "come", "foodies!", "treats!" and the famous, "Where's Josh?". He can fetch AND bring the ball back to you - a feat that most of our greyhounds never got the hang of!

My little man is well behaved and very thoughtful in many ways.... and he also has gotten old enough to selectively forget all of his hard earned rules and tricks when he wants to as well. Among his bad habits is barking. Ever since we moved into the new house: Ernie wants to be heard. He wants the neighbor dogs to hear him, for the TV to hear him, the shadow in the window and the people at the bus stop. Ernie barks when it's dinner time, when it's time to go out, when he's bored, when it's the morning, when we're in the car, on a walk and sometimes in his sleep. And I can understand! When he's barking he's talking to me - it's his main mode of communication. Ernie and I have several barky conversations everyday. I get what he's saying. Ernie says:

"If you do not put a sweater on me, I will poop on the deck. It's raining!"

He is saying things like:

"Have you seen the clock? It's 5:30. It's time to eat. Get. Off. The. Computer. Jesus woman! This is not what I pay you for!!"

And....

"Let me up on the bed! Who moved my dog stairs? What is the point of dog stairs if I cannot USE the dog stairs???"

So, I understand completely where the barking is coming from. He barks because puppy eyes don't speak loud enough. I would hate to take away his "voice" but that's the softy in me. The truth is, my dog has a barking problem and it's driving everyone else nuts.

My question is: how do you curb barking in the first place? Saying "no" doesn't work (too wimpy for Ernie), spraying water doesn't help (unless you walk around with a spray bottle like you're John Wayne walking into a ghost town) and loud startling noises don't work either so don't go and tell me to shake a can full of pennies because Ernie has been there, done that and it just don't work. A shock collar is absolutely, completely and totally not an option so I'll save you the humiliation of suggesting it because then I'll have to hate you.

What we're looking for here is a naturopathic, organic, doggie-friendly, LOVING way to say: shut the %(#*$#*(@* up. Is that possible? Is that something that even exists?? A positive re-enforcement way of suppressing the bark? Surely, I can't be the first person out there who is dealing with this.

So, because 2010 is a chosen "Year of Action" for me, the search for my perfect bark deterrent has begun! I'll be updating you on my search and how Ernie's progress plays out. Should you have any ideas or suggestions for me, please leave me a comment.

Until next time....