Big Decisions
I've been considering moving back to Seattle in the last month or so (in case you couldn't assume that from my blog). I really like the idea of making my quickly growing design business into a full time job. And I want to do that as quickly as possible.
I'd like to have a place of my own. A space primarily for creating but also for growing. I've adored living with Adam and Vonia - they are the best roommates ever. But I still feel like I'm visiting in New York City and it's time for me to settle down and feel at home.
And yet another part of the problem is financial. I'm so broke. In fact, everyone I know here is broke. Every single person I've met in New York City is barely getting by financially with large amounts of debt. Everyone else seems to find this comforting - if I'm broke at least everyone else is too - but I can't stand it. There are certain lines I don't like to cross and I've crossed them. I need my own space, an actual bed, and maybe get myself a plant or something. If I leave here, I never want to think about money the way I have here again. It's a scary thing; being broke. I don't dig it. But I honestly don't think I can dig my way OUT of it if I stay here. That's pretty clear.
And then there's the little things, the bad smells, the disturbing things you see on a daily basis, the rats, ect. These are things that don't really factor into my leaving but make it easier to do so.
But the move is still just a consideration. I love the idea of going back to Seattle, getting a place to live and a studio to work out of. This is an actual possibility in Seattle where as I would never ever ever be able to do it in NYC. I love the idea of selling my designs and reaching into a new existence that I didn't think I could achieve before. That being said, I want to make 100% sure that there is nothing left here for me to miss before I decide to go. Although New York has been uncomfortable at times (certainly not all the time), I think I've learned a bunch of valuable lessons in the last 5 months.
I'd like to have a place of my own. A space primarily for creating but also for growing. I've adored living with Adam and Vonia - they are the best roommates ever. But I still feel like I'm visiting in New York City and it's time for me to settle down and feel at home.
And yet another part of the problem is financial. I'm so broke. In fact, everyone I know here is broke. Every single person I've met in New York City is barely getting by financially with large amounts of debt. Everyone else seems to find this comforting - if I'm broke at least everyone else is too - but I can't stand it. There are certain lines I don't like to cross and I've crossed them. I need my own space, an actual bed, and maybe get myself a plant or something. If I leave here, I never want to think about money the way I have here again. It's a scary thing; being broke. I don't dig it. But I honestly don't think I can dig my way OUT of it if I stay here. That's pretty clear.
And then there's the little things, the bad smells, the disturbing things you see on a daily basis, the rats, ect. These are things that don't really factor into my leaving but make it easier to do so.
But the move is still just a consideration. I love the idea of going back to Seattle, getting a place to live and a studio to work out of. This is an actual possibility in Seattle where as I would never ever ever be able to do it in NYC. I love the idea of selling my designs and reaching into a new existence that I didn't think I could achieve before. That being said, I want to make 100% sure that there is nothing left here for me to miss before I decide to go. Although New York has been uncomfortable at times (certainly not all the time), I think I've learned a bunch of valuable lessons in the last 5 months.
posted by In California Dreamin. at
10:50 AM
2 Comments:
Betsy,
I understand your feelings and have gone through most of those thoughts at several points since I've been here. Just remember that moving off the island will save a boat load of money (I've save 3000 in rent that I don't have to pay by moving to Bklyn in March).
Hang in there and remember that old saying" If you canmake it in New York, you can make it anywhere!"
Brett
Betsy!
I could have written that post two years ago. Of course, I moved back. Whatever you decide, know that you'll always have friends back on this coast.
Jon
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