On How Life Is... Ramble #4867b

Well, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet: I'm not going to move to San Francisco in September. I was thinking of doing it but the money stuff got gnarly and I just couldn't justify it. I'm generally feeling as though my life has it's own direction right now and I can chose to follow it or not. If I chose not to, it tends to do what it wants anyway.
Besides, I like New York. It's taught me a lot. It's not a place where I want to settle down but it's been great visiting. I might as well stay a little longer. But I DO still feel like I'm visiting here. When I think about Seattle I become homesick. I become homesick for people, of course, but mostly I'm homesick for normalcy. I miss having my own space, driving a car, shopping in a supermarket, ect. It's not the "homesick" where you miss knowing what you'll be doing on a Friday night, miss your boyfriend and your best friends (even though I do). It's more of mourning for normal life.
In exchange for "normalcy" I get a whole lot though. I'm loving that side of it right now. I see famous people on the street - Anthony Kedis almost poked his eye out on my umbrella few weeks ago - amazing views, meeting new people, expanding my horizons. So I'm grateful. I'm eyes-wide-open-big-breath and JUMP! I'm fearless and ecstatic, cautious and curious - I'm brand new and very old all the time. For me, New York is every emotion.