Snakes on a Plane

I am home sick. By "home" I mean at the Brickhouse. Ben Dion and I are watching "Snakes on A Plane". Ben, do have anything you'd like to say on my blog???
Ben: I sure do.
Betsy:Ok. Go for it. Anything at all. Anything you want to say on the Internet where you or possibly someone you know can find it for years to come.
Ben: Well, Snakes on a Plane is not only Oscar worthy, BUT! it's going straight to Broadway. I'm totally a kick boxer.
Betsy: I have learned a lot from this Oscar worthy masterpiece so far. First thing? Don't trust asians.
Ben: Second, never go to Hawaii for you honeymoon.
Betsy: You honeymoon should no no be in Hawaii. God Ben. I had no idea you were so eloquent.
Ben: Just a Man with refined tastes.
Betsy: Who deshits his shrimp. Eww! Snakes on the Plane is also about stress between blacks and whites. As in, they like to have sex with each other. Also, no one should trust Asians. Black AND white: Asians are shifty.
Ben: Black people don't like Asians, small dogs, or snakes. They do like girls named after cars.
Betsy: EVERYONE likes a girl named after a car Ben! Nice to meet you. My name is Honda.
Ben: That totally just happened.
Honda: Oh my god. That was horrible. I'm going to have nightmares about that. Can these snakes see in the dark? Do these snake types really exist??
Ben: No, not the exotic ones. But they do know all about disabling planes. Theres a fuckin' snake on my fuckin' dick.
Honda: There is a snake crawling up a lady's whoo ha! This Oscar shit. This is major Oscar material. They should make a broadway musical of this movie. Would you go see Snakesalot?
Ben: In two shakes of a chipmunk's tail. Nervous white guys in salmon pink button ups totally rock.
Honda: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet that there are at least two more dick biting scenes before the end of the movie. And one midget. And one gratuitous Samuel L Jackson plane landing scene.
Ben: And possibly a forbidden love between a passenger and one of the more tender snakes. Y'know, the one that just sorta got sucked into this crazy plan. And maybe a three way.
Betsy: This movie could only be hotter if the flight attendants were wearing jaunty neck scarves.
Ben: Aren't they? I could swear I saw at least several...
Betsy: But you were hallucinating. You just WISH you saw them. But they are missing. It's like having a fifty pound gorilla in the room... you're like "what is different here?..." I digress. Is there a way for us to be snakes on a plane for Halloween? This also seems like a good moment to point out that you have stolen the entire blanket.
Ben: After our warnings, she still trusted the Asian. And the blanket is being generously shared. With the floor.
Betsy: You, sir, are an ass.
Ben: Snakes on a Baby!!!
Betsy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Damn snakes totally ate the shit out of the doctor. This shiz is crazy. Get these motherfuckin snakes off this motherfuckin plane.
Ben: This suckers going down faster then a Thai hooker!
Betsy: Seriously. We will make you a giant, foam plane costume and I will dress as a snake and you can carry me on your back all night. I will also bite you in the ass. BEST HALLOWEEN EVER.
Ben: Oh. My. God. I am in. You need to suck the venom out of my ass too. Sporks!
In most cases, sporks are the most useful instrument to dig out, sink, flush, scoop or squash just about anything. Unfortunately, they are completely useless against poisonous snakes. Or.... snakes on crack.
Ben: Champ the co-pilot was just thrown down a flight of airplane stairs by an airplane snake. Green or teal, Betsy? Green or teal? And now the plane is indeed going down faster than a Thai whore.
Betsy: I did not see that coming Ben. I truly did not.