Just Put It On Me

There are exactly two coffee shops on the way to my work. Both sell bagels. Both will TOAST your bagel but neither actually puts the cream cheese on for you. They both give you shitty little cubes of cream cheese - not even enough for one bagel cheek. And one of the places doesn't even cut the goddamn bagel for you. Apparently, you're supposed to just squeeze the cream cheese tube onto your bagel like you do toothpaste. I feel like this situation is just plain rude. I hate to complain about costumer service. I feel like when you do that you automatically turn into a lil' ole man with a snap up shirt and hair in his ears. Wracka Fracka.
But it's just mean. That's all I'm saying. The lack of cream cheese application is harshing my mellow.