Betsy Morris is Comedy's Pamela De Barge

You know what? I think it would be cool to be a groupie. I like the idea of that (insert mom screaming here). I think it would be way more fun to be a groupie than a rock star. Cause a rock star has to work and sweat and, you know, all rock stars are fat kids on the inside. You know that right? But groupies. Now there's a concept. You all gross on the outside but you feel like a million bucks AND - no more fat kid on the inside for you. For the rest of your life you can say - and only at parties in a low voice. You know, that "I don't want to make a big deal out of it but.." voice. "I'm humble" voice. Love using that voice - once, I dated "rock star". How hot is that? But you gotta say "dated" cause "humped" or "screwed" doesn't sound right.
That's what I think.

I watched Dane Cook's comedy last night. OHMYGOD. This is where the whole "groupie" thing came up for me. I really can't see me falling for a guy in band. I'm too competitive and mean for that. I'm not an easy target. God bless the boy who walks up to me in a bar. It never works and I turn into some kind of Robo Bitch that chews men for dinner. That and shy boys. I run over shy boys like I'm a Mack truck. But you know what? I can completely see myself as the girl at Dane Cook's show, front row, screaming like a banchee and ripping my blouse off. And I don't even wear blouses but I would for him. I'd gladly turn into a Michael Bolton listening, blouse wearing, big haired milf if that's what he wanted. He's my new rock star. I would be the girl who told people she couldn't walk just to get wheelchair access to the good seats at a Dane Cook show. Yes I would. Hell yes.