Babelon

2010: The End of The Bark?

2010-01-05T20:30:00.009-05:00

Ernie is a teenager now - or a fine mix of teen and two year old. He knows full well how to sit, lay down and shake. He can even rollover with a little help. Ok. If you give him a push he will rollover. Ernie knows the words "bath", "Bisou" (his best buddy), "come", "foodies!", "treats!" and the famous, "Where's Josh?". He can fetch AND bring the ball back to you - a feat that most of our greyhounds never got the hang of!

My little man is well behaved and very thoughtful in many ways.... and he also has gotten old enough to selectively forget all of his hard earned rules and tricks when he wants to as well. Among his bad habits is barking. Ever since we moved into the new house: Ernie wants to be heard. He wants the neighbor dogs to hear him, for the TV to hear him, the shadow in the window and the people at the bus stop. Ernie barks when it's dinner time, when it's time to go out, when he's bored, when it's the morning, when we're in the car, on a walk and sometimes in his sleep. And I can understand! When he's barking he's talking to me - it's his main mode of communication. Ernie and I have several barky conversations everyday. I get what he's saying. Ernie says:

"If you do not put a sweater on me, I will poop on the deck. It's raining!"

He is saying things like:

"Have you seen the clock? It's 5:30. It's time to eat. Get. Off. The. Computer. Jesus woman! This is not what I pay you for!!"

And....

"Let me up on the bed! Who moved my dog stairs? What is the point of dog stairs if I cannot USE the dog stairs???"

So, I understand completely where the barking is coming from. He barks because puppy eyes don't speak loud enough. I would hate to take away his "voice" but that's the softy in me. The truth is, my dog has a barking problem and it's driving everyone else nuts.

My question is: how do you curb barking in the first place? Saying "no" doesn't work (too wimpy for Ernie), spraying water doesn't help (unless you walk around with a spray bottle like you're John Wayne walking into a ghost town) and loud startling noises don't work either so don't go and tell me to shake a can full of pennies because Ernie has been there, done that and it just don't work. A shock collar is absolutely, completely and totally not an option so I'll save you the humiliation of suggesting it because then I'll have to hate you.

What we're looking for here is a naturopathic, organic, doggie-friendly, LOVING way to say: shut the %(#*$#*(@* up. Is that possible? Is that something that even exists?? A positive re-enforcement way of suppressing the bark? Surely, I can't be the first person out there who is dealing with this.

So, because 2010 is a chosen "Year of Action" for me, the search for my perfect bark deterrent has begun! I'll be updating you on my search and how Ernie's progress plays out. Should you have any ideas or suggestions for me, please leave me a comment.

Until next time....

Follow Tacky Smack on Facebook

2009-09-04T16:16:00.004-04:00

You can now follow Tacky Smack (my vinyl surface art and design company) on Facebook! We've been around for 2 months now and already have 344 fans - not too shabby! The website launches October 1st but you can go check it out now and sign up for our mildly fascinating/98% un-annoying, quarterly newsletter: http://www.tackysmack.com/
You can also follow us on twitter here: http://twitter.com/TackySmack
And if you live in Seattle then you should come to our launch party on Oct. 2nd at Retrofit Home
1419 12th Ave
Seattle, WA 98122-3905
(206) 568-4663

There will be dj's, champagne and a multitude of designs to choose from!
Promote Your Page Too

Quick 2008/2009 Update

2009-08-27T01:48:00.005-04:00

So many changes and so little blog posts. BIG STUFF has happened in the very long time since I last blogged. Quick catch up because I don't have time to write it all out:

1. We've lived in this awesome apartment for almost a year and a half now. We have loved it. We have so many happy memories here. Our neighbors are some of our closest friends; our community. Josh and I have changed jobs, started our own businesses, June has grown a little older and much quieter but we quit getting that fresh, local and EXPENSIVE veggies and fruit delivered to our door though. Yes, we grew a big garden instead.
2. Introducing our third family member: Mr. Ernie B. Grumbles. Ernie is a pug/chihuahua mix that has changed Josh and my life in so many ways. He is a total joy. The most pure, happy, patient and loving being. My heart. It's so super fun to have Ernie. You'll never meet someone who doesn't love Ernie.
3. We bought a house!
When our lease was up we decided to do some research just to see if we could find an entire house for something comparable to what we were currently paying. Well, folks, it took us two hours. We found a house with 500 more square feet and a fenced in yard. $5 more than what we were paying in rent. So that got us thinking: how much would a mortgage be? We started with www.redfin.com - which is a little addictive. We started to realize that a mortgage is actually something that might be possible for us. We went to a seminar. We found a real estate agent. We went to the loan officer. And I'll save you the gory details (because they ARE gory), we ended up getting a loan after lots of work - we are self-employed after all. And we nabbed us a house. It's small and on a busy street but it's twice the square footage we have now with a HUGE back yard and unfinished basement of Joshua's dreams ( DRUM SET )
Closing on Friday, moving on Saturday. DONE.

The Dynasty Dictionary

2009-02-25T19:55:00.003-05:00

Alrighty, we're almost to the end of the first season of Dynasty and oooooohhhh what a ride it has been. I've learned a couple of things:
1. Krystal Carrington NOT Crystal Kerrington
2. Sometimes Krystal matches the wall paper
3. Steven doesn't even SLEEP without lipgloss.

We've also started a "Dynasty Dictionary" of words used in the series that we've never heard before. And we've included a couple of phrases that are, well, worth mentioning!

Faggotry : the act of being gay. When Blake used it in a sentence it was, " What should I do? Send you to the Steven Carrington Institute of Faggotry?"

Hermaphradidic : the act of getting all hermaphradidic. I think. Ask Jamie Lee Curtis and get back to us.

Masculinist: Opposite of Feminist. Don't ask.

Prevert: Pronounced PRE - VERT. I think he ment pervert but he said it wrong.

Umbilically: When a child is too attached to their parents.

SOME AMAZING QUOTES...

"The whole world is an orphan..." ~ Fallon
"Might be easier - if you weren't a wildcat!" ~ Krystal
"Her ass was dripping all over the ground." Ok. That's just what it sounded like. We even rewound!

Dynasty Boot Camp

2009-01-22T19:55:00.002-05:00

Um kay.
I'm gonna start watching Dynasty. Like, from the very beginning. I occurred to me that I have a lot to learn about life before I turn 30 and there are certain subjects a grown woman should know about that I don't know anything about. For instance, drinking mint juleps while wearing feathered high - heel slippers just before throwing an antique chair into the fireplace in a fit of rage. You should know how to do that, right?! Right. And I don't. I'm pretty good with shoulder pads but not with swoopy bangs that could shatter glass. Pretty good at wearing sequined jumpers but not so great at breaking my nail while scratching the face of the farm boy I'm having an affair with. And Dynasty can teach me all that.

So. I guess I just wanted you guys to know that I'm gonna start my Dynasty training in two weeks. If you want to join me...you're invited. And if your man or your man-child or your baby need some Dynasty training too... you should probs bring them with you.

Cliff Notes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynasty_(TV_series)

P.S. I don't have a huge TV so if that's a problem you can suck it.
P.P.S. I don't have a lot of room either so be prepared to squish.
P.P.P.S. The second installment of Dynasty Boot Camp will happen in the third week of Feb. as I am in NYC for the second week of Feb. If that's a problem you can also suck it.

You Can Blog Whatever You Like..

2009-01-06T20:51:00.005-05:00

Because I know you value my opinion sooo much I've decided to write a "Stuff Everyone Should Know About" post. Here's a list things that are currently ringing my bell.

http://www.cutethingsfallingasleep.org/
Just when you thought you had everything you needed to be a balanced, complete human. All the posts get ratings for "cuteness" and "sleepyness". I die.

http://www.upsidedowndogs.com
You know what I CAn HAZ CHEZBURGER? You can take your creepy cat fetish and just shove it. The dogs are here and they are sort of queer and totally upside down.

www.bibaexperince.com
Ok. So I listed this on my TackySmack blog as well but I'm not over it yet. Looking at this website makes me feel like I'm ready for a very big reinvention. It's just the fact that I have hips that's getting in my way. I'm not willowy. BUT. BUT!! If I was willowy I would make it my personal mission in life to walk around looking like a cross between Bianca Jagger at Studio 54 and Jane Birkin throwing a party for people she LOVES and forgot the names of. That being said, I'm getting by in my black, parachute pantsuit. If the people of Seattle think it's weird it's only because they don't live in the future like yours truly.

The chick who cuts my hair:
Scream Salon on Thomas (?) right off of Broadway. Girlfriend has different color bangs whenever I go in and it's 20 bucks for a haircut. I'm not sure how she has bleached my hair to perfection and it's still curly and touchable but she has. I love it there. You've got People and Penthouse magazines to read under the dryer and the boychild who answers the phone never writes anything down and can sit cross legged for hours. Loves it. Call Nikki. She's my lady.

Beth's Favorite:
No, it's not the name of a 1970's movie about teenage iceskaters falling in luv. It's the name of my favorite pizza. Toscana's has it: http://seattle.citysearch.com/profile/10772978 and it has white sauce with chicken, zuccini and eggplant.

Red Rock Cedar:
We went back to this house http://www.findrentals.com/7322.html on Whidbey for New Years again this year. It's a 1070's weirdo summit. It's got shag carpet, a turquoise blue kitchen, all the bathrooms are completely marble (shower+marble= unfortunate rock n' roll death. so watch out) there are two hot tubs, two jukeboxes, a dining room table that can sit 16 and is make of one, giant shellacked piece of wood, koi, a waterfall, a firepit and tons of fireplaces. Add in the designer barbies, the miniature zeppelin and the neighbors who are never home... Shit. I could live here.

Alphabeat:
It's been my new favorite for most of the last two years. If you show me something better I will change my mind but I sure haven't seen it yet. It's been difficult, if not impossible, to get their records in the US until recently. Over the summer of 2008 I met a really neat Danish guy who came to the USA, bought a motorcycle and drove across country on it. He ended up spending a month in Seattle and became a good friend of ours. About 3 months after he left I received an Alphabeat box set in the mail! Moral of the story is that this band is so darn good that connects people all over the world. Ok, maybe not but it did for me.

The Twilight Series
I have no shame. I read all four of these teen novels AND the illegally leaked manuscript for her new book online. I read 264 pages of that thing! ONLINE! I'm almost 29 years old so i probs effected my eyesight for that shiz. Worth it. Ugh. I'm going all batshit for it. Everyone with a vagina should read it. I don't care if it's Mormon. It's HOT. I gave it to all my girlfriends and the next thing you know there are 8 grown women taking up the front row at the premier of New Moon.

Do you want to see Shamu with me?

2008-12-29T20:37:00.001-05:00

natalie portman's shaved head - sophisticated side ponytail from thatgo on Vimeo.

Election Night 2008

2008-11-05T12:52:00.006-05:00

There were huge parties happening everywhere in the streets of Seattle last night. Here's my videos of what I saw on Capitol Hill and Downtown... It was an awesome moment to be a part of! We're all so happy!!

This How It Goes in the Haus of Blo

2008-05-29T16:00:00.009-04:00

Jlo and I are having fun in the new digs. Still haven't had time to unpack the bedroom but it will happen. For right now I'm in a deep denial regarding my obscene clothing collection and the fact that it takes three closets, a dresser and a large shoe rack to house. How did Carey do it in Sex in the City? Where did all those clothes live?

Meanwhile... the lettuce I planted is growing...I haven't killed it yet!

We haven't had time to go buy coffee filters for the new coffee maker Mom bought for us (thanks momma!) so we McGuyver'ed it for a few days. God forbid we not have coffee.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "their genius is overwhelming." And if you're my mom you're thinking, "don't ruin those oven mitts!!!"

We also started getting our Spud order. For those of you who don't know, Spud (formerly Pioneer Organics) is a grocery delivery service that brings, fresh, organic, LOCAL produce to your doorstep. It's all from farms in and around Seattle and it's all GOOD. Yummy stuff! Here's a photo of our first order:

Also, June (my bird) is really pissed about Josh moving in. How do I know? This. This is how I know:

My new rug!!

2008-05-20T22:32:00.005-04:00

I've had my eye on a rug at Jon and Lori's store for awhile now. In a hugely, surprising turn of events, my friends bought it for me as a housewarming gift!
Thanks to everyone who pitched in. In addition to truly making my day you also took quite a bit of my breath away. The real gift is to feel so genuinely loved and supported by your friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you...

You Haven't Lived Until You've Covered Your Do's and Don'ts

2008-05-17T21:45:00.004-04:00

I love Vice magazine. I religiously follow the "do's and don'ts" section. Over the years it's been the unfailing source of a good belly laugh every single time. Here's a taste of some new favorites. If you want to check out more go to www.vicemag.com"This is like the greek nerd version of those Wild & Crazy Guys but with less wild and crazy and more BO."

"Asian dudes are already starting at a machismo disadvantage. Throwing girls’ jeans and a pink purse into the mix is like putting a bonnet on a baby panda."

"DO NOT approach a robot or a mime or a guy in a costume that the party promoter hired to liven things up. You will bomb. It’s like the Bermuda Triangle of riffing and, once you’re in it, the only way to get out is to physically assault the thing."

Thanks!

2008-05-17T21:38:00.002-04:00

Thanks to all who came out for my art opening! The turn out was fabulous! It was lots of fun (I hope to do it again sometime soon) and I have no pictures because I just plain forgot to take any. All you need to know is, A)lots of people showed up, B) 10 bottle of champagne disappeared in 1 hour and C) I didn't look hot because I had an eye infection. NOT PINK EYE. Although everyone who shook my hand had an "oh dear. pink eye." look on their face.

We got the keys to our new apartment today! It's big and beautiful and when we were done cleaning out our cars (packed with boxes) we laid in the backyard. It was 85 degrees today -totally and completely fabulous. Boy wearing a blond wig and a hot pink dress kind of fabulous.

I WILL have photos of the new place as soon as I find my camera... sometime after Monday when the movers come. Yay for hard laborers; you do everything I can't and if you do it quickly (don't scratch the table!!!) Momma will give you a big tip. Yep. When it comes to movers, I'm pretty Southern about it.

Opening

2008-05-13T18:41:00.001-04:00

My art opening is tonight! Ack! Cross your fingers for me!

I was gonna vote for the goldfish..

2008-05-13T18:39:00.001-04:00

... but now I'm leaning towards the turtle with the blanket....

2008-05-03T16:45:00.005-04:00

Our New Home

2008-04-28T17:52:00.002-04:00

We went to the Oregon Coast with Carey last weekend. It was beautiful in Cannon Beach and Haystack Rock was so much more breathtaking than I had remembered. I will put up photos soon!

Since then it's been a busy week here in Seattle! The sun is shining and it's been really pretty. I caught a cold at the beach though so I've been sniffy and croaking all week. Work is starting to pick up and we're well on our way to the high season. I'm bringing Dan back to help me and have already off loaded all of my weekend hours to him.
Josh and I are housesitting Matthew and Tricia's big (and perfectly designed) townhouse on Capitol Hill. It's the posh life over here with three stories, four bathrooms and kitchen perfectly suited for cooking a gourmet meal. Josh and I are going to make homemade pizza tonight but that's about as gourmet as I think we'll get. They also have a big, flat screen TV and xbox 360. I'm getting pretty good at playing rock band and Josh has blisters on his fingers from playing fake guitar with me until 4 in the morning.
We found an apartment to live in - since the houseboat we wanted so badly fell through. (Negative thanks so the rich dude who doesn't want to give up the lease for his 4th of July party.) It's big and we are THRILLED. Two big bedrooms, living room with a chandelier (!!), big kitchen with a dishwasher - because there is a god-, backyard with BBQ and a small deck where we can eat breakfast on sunny mornings. Only a couple blocks from Broadway, we can walk to just about anywhere; the light rail (when it's finished), grocery, ect ect. It's got hardwood floors throughout which is a "must - have" for me. I don't want every other renter's germs stuck in my floor for all eternity. Lots of storage and good light and and and and....we move in May 20th. Hallelujah cried the preacher! It's gonna get a great summer!!

Online Shop

2008-04-18T17:30:00.004-04:00

I have a new store at www.etsy.com!
For those of you who haven't been there before, etsy is sort of like ebay for homemade and handcrafted items. It's pretty fascinating to see what people are making these days! Everything from gourmet doggie treats to knitted couch covers.
My stuff is priced pretty high right now because most of it is meant for the show in May. But I figured, hey, if someone wants to grab it for a couple hundred bucks, who am I to tell them no? I might tell them their crazy but... not "no"!
Check it out if you're interested!

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5641612

JUST KIDDING! HERE'S THE NEW, UPDATED URL:
WWW.BetsyMorris.etsy.com

More Art

2008-04-17T21:50:00.005-04:00

The horse looks a little weird. I need to redo the way it hangs on the wall. Oh well.
Meanwhile, I have started to sew the beginning seeds for my new website!

www.sewridiculous.com

It will soon serve as a gallery/portfolio for me. Yay!

2008-04-10T18:57:00.001-04:00

Visit My New Favorite Website!!

2008-04-05T19:12:00.002-04:00

http://www.hana-ess.eu.dodea.edu/activities/video/dog_screen_clean.swf

2008-04-02T20:55:00.002-04:00

Here's a couple of videos for you!

The first is a video documenting the Birthday Bus's visit to Burien. The city of Burien paid to have the bus at their city birthday celebration. It's also a wonderful video showing how we put the bus together and some great shots of it driving down the street thanks to Morgan's genius idea of altering it so you can drive from the roof!

and this is the movie Carey made to highlight the Nature Consortium. Lots of great Buphalo scenes! I'm very proud of them both!

Praying this Isn't Nature's Way of Saying "April Fools"

2008-04-01T12:18:00.004-04:00

It's April 1st and it's BEAUTIFUL outside. My heart is jumping in little random, staccato beats at the prospect of an early summer or even just a sunny spring. I'm so used to fearing Seattle's dark, and dull April and May.
But this morning I woke up and it's too luxuriously clear outside not to give a big hell yeah for this day!

Amazingly Late Photos of Mexico

2008-03-25T20:16:00.006-04:00

10 points for those who get it.

2008-02-26T01:14:00.008-05:00

My newest stuff is based on paint by numbers paintings. I've been researching and, oddly enough, paint by numbers were originally called "creative meditation". Basically, they made a bunch of sense for the 1950's "Perfection" state of mind - a way to be creative without actually having to be creative.
So, flipping that last idea on it's head, I've taken 10 iconic paint by numbers prints and blown them up, made patterns out of them and then sewed them back together. Here's a dragonfly one I did (not really my style but pretty):

And here's one that I've designed myself. As you can see, we're not talking 1950's icons here. Six degrees kids. Six degrees.

YOYO

2008-02-24T13:08:00.003-05:00

Between the fact that we're leaving for Mexico in a week or so, planning on going to LA with Kiki in May, and do stuff all the time that is memory worthy... Josh and I decided to buy a digital camera. He has a big expensive one that was expensive... oh... 6 years ago when he bought it. I have one that isn't compatible with my new computer is now 3 years old itself. So we went to Target yesterday and started researching. Long story short: we walked out with a new diggie camera AND a video camera. Our lives are gonna be on film kids! FILM I SAY!
We also went to the National YoYo Campionships yesterday. It was sort of amazing. Apparently yoyoing is only for
A. Boys
B. Boys who like japanese rap or metal
C. People who also ride skateboards in their spare time
D. Kids who like to do hair flips (there was some serious mop top action happening.)

Our favorite was actually last years National Champ, a kid named Augie. He was kinda pudgy but seriously awesome at the yo yo. And he was humble too. Before he started he told the announcer he was nervous! There was also a guy who had on a turtleneck, big, fluffy, feathered hair and 70's (actually) headphones on. He did his program to the theme from "Tailspin". Needless to say, I completely loved him. I want to blow into his hair and call him Majestic.

The Birthday Story

2008-02-13T14:13:00.004-05:00

When I began Feb. 6th, my 28th birthday, I knew that I was going to get a party of some kind. Josh had told me to be ready by 5pm - I had asked him before to warn me about these things. I had a few nightmares of being in the shower and everyone bargining in and yelling SURPRISE!!
In the car I realized that we were going to Tricia and Matthew's house. When Brianna opened the front door I was greeted by 20 or so friends, balloons, presents and a big potluck dinner. A bunch of the girls had dressed up like me, wearing onesies and they all swept their hair to one side! It was wonderful, so great to have so many of my buddies in one place, some of them meeting for the first time. I was perfectly happy. Then Josh gathered everyone in the livingroom to announce that we were moving to our next location?!
"Just go up to the 9th floor" he said.
I must admit I was a little nervous. What if we get in trouble here?
The penthouse was on the 9th floor. The PENTHOUSE!! Even more people were there to meet me (I believe the hotel said that we couldn't have more than 15 in the room but we had many, many more. The entire top floor of the hotel to ourselves though. It's a miracle that we didn't get in trouble!!) There was a kitchen, a fireplace, the most amazing view, a big deck - totally useless because it was raining and really windy- a big bedroom, and bathroom with a jacuzzi tub. Even better, it had been decorated by my friends with a red carpet and a photobooth. Jess even brought wigs, hats, glasses and mustaches for us to dress up in. There was a large frame to stick the photos on (which is now in the back of my car, so big I can't carry it up to my apartment myself!). Jess painted me a beautiful painting. I'm sure I'll have it for the rest of my life. I could never afford one of her peices and I can tell she put a lot of work and time into it. That one really started some tears.
I got a bunch of great presents, including little parachuting men from Shug to throw off of the roof of the penthouse. I kept the lil dudes though. I'll use 'em for an art project.
This was such a great birthday. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who participated. Thank you to Jess and Kiki - I know you helped Josh out and pull things together. Carey, Jon, Tricia, Matthew and espeically Joshua. I felt so 100% LOVED.

2008-02-05T00:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Pack Rat Girlfriend;

I will miss you so much. You have really made the view from my window so much more interesting since you moved in last year. I used to think my view of the Space Needle was so riveting. Watching the monorail was so fun! Until you moved in.
Before you moved in with your boyfriend he was all clean. When he was alone, you could see the floor - he was so boring and organized. But you. YOU Pack Rat Girlfriend, you made his life a living hell of mail piles, clothes everywhere, and the explosion of nick knacks you brought with you. You are a like a little human tornado. Did you guys break up? Did you loose him in your mess? Where did you go?

Jess, the Limo and the Heavy

2008-02-02T13:20:00.001-05:00

Ok peeps! I'm a goin in a limo tonight! I woke up early this morning - determined to feel better because yesterday was a long line of doctor's appointments - to get some work done, and get ready because today... is gonna be a long one. I work at Retrofit from noon until 7pm. Then I go to the Bottleneck for dinner and free Pabst. Josh and I are taking Kiki and Josh's lil bro Erik with us. The limo comes to pick us up and then the show at the Triple Door. Now I'm thinking I should listen to the radio more because there is definately something to winning stuff. I could totally stand winning more stuff in 2008. I'm included a picture of me winning tickets to the Def Leppard, Stix and Foreigner concert and a photo of me kissing Josh after he won our tickets/limo ride for tonight.
Big congrats to Jess (photo of us as Team Patriotic and Pregnant at the 2nd annual Board Game Championship above) who is officially done with her horrid job at the cancer clinic. Girlfriend, I'm so proud of you for helping so many people and I really hope you stop feeling like you might be dying all the time. No one should be that close to death all the time (or grabby/crabby folks). Jess is now officially a full time artist. I cannot believe how much her art life has taken off and how wildly successful she's become just in the last year. Yay for Jess!
Also, I turn 28 this week. That's just weird. Not sure how I feel about 28. It seems like such a heavy number. An obese number. Not big so much as heavy. 28? I'm gonna go back to school.

Update

2008-01-29T20:20:00.001-05:00

Nothing happens when you drink a beer at 3:30.

Hot Air

2008-01-29T20:01:00.000-05:00

You know what I feel like is super boring right now?
Blogging.
I feel like it's boring me. I'm gonna do it anyway cause it's Tuesday afternoon and my sewing project is pissing me off. Also because work is slow, I just watched Oprah and it freaked me out (people will come into your apartment and attack you), my apartment smells funny, I was gonna take a bath and then I didn't. I drank a beer at 3:30 just because I was so bored I wanted to know what would happen if I drank a beer at 3:30.
Josh and I went to the Second Buttrock Contest a week ago. Josh wore the same outfit I wore to the first contest - and guest what? He won! This really helps me fufill one of my main missions in 2008: Take all forms of transportation I haven't tried yet.
So far, I think they are 1)submarine, 2)train 3)limo.

That's right. I've never been in a limo... until this Saturday night! Yay! Now, if anyone has a submarine, please let me know. That one's gonna be a son of a bitch.

And, yes, I have been in a hot air balloon. Thanks for asking.

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2007: Nutshell

2008-01-08T14:03:00.000-05:00

Looking back this has been a year of changes more than accomplishments - but that sounds like it was hard. It was really a year of contradictions. A year of several events that should have been really hard but in reality were very easy and exciting. The moment the clock ticked over on Jan. 1, 2007, I knew it would be wonderful.

*continued with my current job, moving to new office, taking on employees and generally continuing/expanding the business as much as I possibly can. I celebrated a year with the company in September.
*Kept June alive and squalking. Even after an eventful year of jumping out windows, falling five stories and meeting chickens.
*Ended a tumultuous but fabulously gratifing 4 year relationship. I'm still processing all that I've learned but I know a few things for sure:
I will always adore my wonderful friend Ben and I would not be who I am today without him. He is a sweet and loving man and I have been really lucky to share so much with him. I look forward to the future and what our loyal friendship will have in store for us!
* Moved into my own apartment in a neighborhood I LOVE. I love my apartment. I love my view. I love my garage. I love my bathroom, closet, front door, back door, kitchen and hardwood floors. I love my dimming lights and well heated rooms. I love the light in the morning and midday (this time of year), I love the birds and trees outside my window. I love this apartment.
* Made several new friends, too many to list here. I continue to cherish my huge group of friends.
* Went to Victoria, Vancouver, back to Wenatchee, Chelan, Whidbey, the San Juans, Portland and White Salmon. Getting re-connected with my home turf has been great. There is absolutely nowhere with beauty like the Northwest.
*Went to Burning Man for the fifth year. Besides the fact that it was my best year yet - I just want to attest to the fact that it never gets any easier. That's a hard journey!
* Finished several gratifying art projects this year. In addition to some large scale projects that I took on and conquered, I have finished several smaller creative learning experiences as well. I'm looking forward to more design in 2008 (large and small projects), my first art opening in May, acting in play, and completeing the recording of a radio play.
* Although we moved out of our space at Youngstown in December, I have really enjoyed spending every Tuesday and Thursday helping Meishan teach Nia. Nia has been a huge gift in my life since Meishan and my first class in 2005. I'm looking forward to continuing my practice at our orginal studio: Dance Underground, in 2008. I plan on eventally getting my white belt but do not intend to teach. It would be really nice though if I could take time to get my white belt and move my personal practice to the next level. We'll see! It's expensive!
* Those who know me really well also know that I have been transformed by my relationship with Joshua in the last part of 2007. I'm really looking forward to our life in 2008: going to Mexico, back to Burning Man and every single simple moment inbetween. Every day is an adventure for us and I won't go into more for fear of sounding like a precious moments figurine.

Happy 2008 kids!

Merry Holiday Season Time

2007-12-20T17:04:00.000-05:00

The Christmas Photos

2007-12-18T14:38:00.000-05:00

On the Island of I Don't Give a Shit.

2007-12-12T01:13:00.000-05:00

I was at Kiki's birfday party on Saturday night - having a great time as you can see from the photos - and thought to myself, "Wow. My ear is starting to hurt!" After an hour and a half I start to pull on my ear, is it the kareoke or what?! Before I know it, and this happened quickly, like within two hours, my head was splitting in pain. Josh gathered me up and took me home - by the time we got there I was crying in pain. I don't think I've done that since I broke my wrist at Burning Man a few years back. Wowza. All I could think was, I feel so so sorry for little babies who go through this and can't communicate it. I read a novel a few years ago about a man who had problems with emotional distance and anger in his adult life as a result of crippling ear infections as a child. His therapist basically figured out that he had been hospitalized for ear infections as an infant and that his adult feelings of anger, mistrust and abanonment came from the trauma of a ear infected little peanut person. Now, when I first read this I was like, "whatever. This is a stupid load of therapy poo." But sitting on the edge of the bed the other night - even my toes curled up in pain - I had a break through. If I had had ear pain like this as an infant I would be smokin crack today. No shiz. It really super sucked.

You know what doesn't suck? When you call your dad and he calls you "Pookie" and makes it all better. That's what my dad did. I think my dad is perfect. My dad is better than YOUR dad.

I also must give mad props to the pain pills Josh had left over. What's up oxywhateveryou'recalled! You are awesome. You didn't really dull the pain all that much but you sent me to the island of I Don't Give A Shit and that really helped.

Thanks also to Joshua who has been driving me around for the last three days because I was either on the Island or riding some serious vertigo waves.

Despite numbing pain and general wooziness I did manage to get my Christmas photo taken. Yes, we copied Brandon and Shoo Shoo (minus the engagement part because that part freaks me out) and are now working on our xmas photo. We even got the dogs in it! Yay for Tommy and Charlie - they should be on ANTM. Stay tuned for the real thing. For now, here's a sneak peak...

Everybody Is All Growns Up

2007-12-06T01:15:00.000-05:00

For those of you in the world that haven't been to http://www.flight2mars.com/ before, go check it out. It's a little hard to navigate at times (you're welcome baby) but shows a bunch of our projects and other fun stuff.

Today has been a day for big life news! Number one... Jole and Benni are having twins! They will be identical twin girls, born sometime in April. Craziness! Jole says that apparently twins run in both of their families - but never with scissors. Congrats to those two crazy kids. Also, Jole has a great blog that I kinda wanna plug. http://jolesack.blogspot.com/

Number two..... great big congrats to Shoo Shoo and Brandon! They got engaged (I imagine Brandon popped the question during their recent trip to India? I'll get the full story tomorrow.) They also have the best Christmas card I've EVER SEEN.

Shoo Shoo may be the only person who ever reads this blog so I think she deserves a big sloppy blog post. I'm proud of her for

A. Carrying what looks like a large rock on her finger.

B. Producing the best Xmas card ever seen by a human being. Josh and I really want to copy it minus the engaged part. Christmas sweaters galore!

Turkey Day Aftermath

2007-11-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

I haven't had time to write because I'be been so busy since Thanksgiving. I have been working two jobs, and... when it rains it pours! There's just so much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I'm working on a new coat that I'm really proud of - I'll put pictures up as soon as I'm done. Meanwhile, here's a picture of me and Sally's great pernese, Cedar. He's huge!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving - I know I did (although I did miss mom and dad!)

Gobble Gobble

2007-11-20T18:16:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to think of something I can bring to Josh's family's house for Turkey Day. So, I dug out my favorite cookbook today to see what I could find. I made this cookbook years ago when I was working in an art store. It's filled to the brim with needless foo foo. Laminated recipes, glitter, metallic paper, scrolly fonts and stamps of boarders, ducks, hearts and huge, lush photographs of food. And, true to my nature, there is a large amount of unglued/stamped/laminated recipes smooshed into the back cover. I planned to do those ones later but sort of fell out of love with the cookbook idea (I believe I may have dumped for a new found love of origami.) It made me smile. I noticed that somewhere along the line my mother apparently got a hold of it. "I predict that Betsy will be a wonderful cook and baker" is written on the backcover in her handwriting.
Anyway, I hope that everyone finds some sort of new inspiration this year - instead of just the one thing to be thankful for. It's good to be thankful for many things but I find that it's inspiration and motivation that really get me through the holidays and beyond; dreary spring rains and early night falls. Gobble gobble everyone! Eat too much!

Octobaby Update

2007-11-09T00:58:00.000-05:00

This is an update to yesterday's post which should have been a discussion of the movie Ratatt... whatever. But it wasn't. It was a talk about octobaby.

I just want everyone to know that I could put an update about her operation here but I haven't. My update is a picture of what comes up on google when you search the word "octobaby." It's shockingly similar isn't it?

I WIN

Ben and Betsy's Movie Review Number Two

2007-11-07T23:53:00.000-05:00

Betsy: Tonight we are watching Rataouille. And by "watching" I mean "not totally paying attention to."

Ben: We've gone from snakes on a plane to rats in a kitchen. I like the transition. There will be a 'noun' on 'noun' movement from now on.

Betsy: Speaking of language, this movie has reminded me that I hate the French.

Ben: And midgets too, apparently...

Betsy: No. I don't hate midgets. I totally love them. But I must admit that French midgets leave me feeling confused. They make me feel like I did when I first saw Octobaby.

Ben: Oh, Octobaby, the joy you've brought us all...

Betsy: I can see by your immediate reaction that you hadn't seen octobaby yet. That's a shame. Long story short: she absorbed her parisidic twin. Just another day in the cash game. This, however, is a bad picture. You can kind of see up what I imagine is her hoo ha.

Ben: I expect a documentary to soon follow. We could even review it, assuming its title was something like,"parasidic twins on non-parasidic twins." It sounds a bit porn-esque though. But honestly, Octobaby porn sounds about as interesting as a documentary...

Betsy: You know what would make this movie more interesting? If they just suddenly killed the rat and then BOOM! the movie was over. Someone goes, "Holy shit. There's a rat in the kitchen. Kill it! That's gross." End movie.

Ben: It almost just happened. Oops. I do wish more movies ended like that. Get maybe 15, 20 minutes in, and then....Death followed by credits. Lets start pursuing our careers in film and television.

Betsy: Now is our time considering the writers are on strike!

Ben: Who are these writers you speak of, and for what reason do they strike?

Betsy: This is totally off topic (unlike Octobaby) but entertainment writers are on strike because they are not currently getting residuals off of CDrom or other internet sales. Residuals are basically what writers and actors live off of - basically they get paid every time a show is aired. Writers are saying that they deserve the same profit from Internet based productions. I digress.. This move is for nincompoops.

Ben: And by move, I can only assume you mean 'movie'. We'll I love. It makes me wish I were a small witty rodent. That bites awkward Americans in Paris. Hmm...

Betsy: I don't understand why it's set in Paris and most characters - except the main characters - speak in an American accent. If I was Parisian I would be upset by this. I want a mini omelet. Make me a mini omelet.

Ben: I just ate the last egg(s), but I promise; The day will come, and I will indeed cook you a little baby omelet. Full of small vegetables, young cheese. I'll even buy you appropriate utensils...

Betsy: Octobaby omelet. OMG.

Ben: Lets make sure that the brick house ends up with the following:

1) Octobaby cookie cutter

2) Octobaby Jell-O mold

3) Octobaby shotglasses

And of course...

the Octobaby omelet recipe.

Betsy: Octobaby shotski: 8 shot glasses and... oh.... it just got weird.

Ben: Octoshotski. This could go Places. Back to the movie...Lets make some anchovy licorice sauce. Now.

Betsy: I swear the voice is "Ross" from "Friends." Tell me I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. I wish they had sporks in this movie. They had sporks in "Snakes on a Plane"

Ben: Oh sporks. They never lose their charm...If only this movie had come with a case, I'd tell you exactly what non-Ross voice actor it was, but alas, we have to wait for the credits...

Betsy: Whatever. You don't know. I am tired. End O' Blog. What do you say? Any last words Ben?

Ben: Oh how I've missed our blogging. I suggest it become a bi-monthly thing. Involving more energy from both sides. I guess more sparks should be involved...

Too true. Next movie? Stay tuned..

Goodnight Grace

2007-10-31T21:50:00.000-04:00

"Our beloved Grace passed peacefully at the vet's today after 4:30 p.m. It was the right time for her and for us. I'm so thankful Sue told us about having the vet come to the car to administer a sedative. Grace relaxed, then Bob carried her inside. The only circumstances that could have been better was that Grace overcame her years which were all too short for us." ~Mary Ellen Morris

Going home home

2007-10-26T14:49:00.000-04:00

So I'm going to Wapato Point next week. This is a big deal. "Why?? WHY?" you might ask. Well, dear and faithful reader...I will tell you.

Lake Chelan (Wapato Point is a resort on Lake Chelan) is only a half hour from Wenatchee, the town I grew up in. For all intents and purposes, I haven't been back to Wenatchee for about 9 years now. I went back for a dentist appointment once and once for my friend Annie's wedding. So that's about 24 hours in 9 years. It isn't that I don't like/love Wenatchee. Although I must admit I've found it a little embarrassing to admit I was from such a small town at times - When I was living in New York City a woman I worked with imagined it was just like the Wild West. "Are there tumble weeds blowing down dusty, dirt roads?" she asked. I had to admit that there were tumble weeds but most of the roads were paved.

We have had this time share at Wapato for years. The only reason we haven't gotten rid of it is because...well... we can't. I think it's been on the market for three or so years now. My parents trade their Wapato weeks for weeks elsewhere like Arizona..

So Josh is coming with me (three days with my parents? It will be fine if he can hold his own at Trivial Pursuit). We leave next weekend - I hope the fall leaves are out and we can rent a boat to take out on the lake.

In funnier and more entertaining news; I was Jane Fonda for Halloween. Check me out.

Josh was a fly (a cranky looking one) and Jon and her Boobs were a Stepford Wife.

Snakes on a Plane

2007-10-18T20:37:00.000-04:00

I am home sick. By "home" I mean at the Brickhouse. Ben Dion and I are watching "Snakes on A Plane". Ben, do have anything you'd like to say on my blog???
Ben: I sure do.
Betsy:Ok. Go for it. Anything at all. Anything you want to say on the Internet where you or possibly someone you know can find it for years to come.
Ben: Well, Snakes on a Plane is not only Oscar worthy, BUT! it's going straight to Broadway. I'm totally a kick boxer.
Betsy: I have learned a lot from this Oscar worthy masterpiece so far. First thing? Don't trust asians.
Ben: Second, never go to Hawaii for you honeymoon.
Betsy: You honeymoon should no no be in Hawaii. God Ben. I had no idea you were so eloquent.
Ben: Just a Man with refined tastes.
Betsy: Who deshits his shrimp. Eww! Snakes on the Plane is also about stress between blacks and whites. As in, they like to have sex with each other. Also, no one should trust Asians. Black AND white: Asians are shifty.
Ben: Black people don't like Asians, small dogs, or snakes. They do like girls named after cars.
Betsy: EVERYONE likes a girl named after a car Ben! Nice to meet you. My name is Honda.
Ben: That totally just happened.
Honda: Oh my god. That was horrible. I'm going to have nightmares about that. Can these snakes see in the dark? Do these snake types really exist??
Ben: No, not the exotic ones. But they do know all about disabling planes. Theres a fuckin' snake on my fuckin' dick.
Honda: There is a snake crawling up a lady's whoo ha! This Oscar shit. This is major Oscar material. They should make a broadway musical of this movie. Would you go see Snakesalot?
Ben: In two shakes of a chipmunk's tail. Nervous white guys in salmon pink button ups totally rock.
Honda: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet that there are at least two more dick biting scenes before the end of the movie. And one midget. And one gratuitous Samuel L Jackson plane landing scene.
Ben: And possibly a forbidden love between a passenger and one of the more tender snakes. Y'know, the one that just sorta got sucked into this crazy plan. And maybe a three way.
Betsy: This movie could only be hotter if the flight attendants were wearing jaunty neck scarves.
Ben: Aren't they? I could swear I saw at least several...
Betsy: But you were hallucinating. You just WISH you saw them. But they are missing. It's like having a fifty pound gorilla in the room... you're like "what is different here?..." I digress. Is there a way for us to be snakes on a plane for Halloween? This also seems like a good moment to point out that you have stolen the entire blanket.
Ben: After our warnings, she still trusted the Asian. And the blanket is being generously shared. With the floor.
Betsy: You, sir, are an ass.
Ben: Snakes on a Baby!!!
Betsy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Damn snakes totally ate the shit out of the doctor. This shiz is crazy. Get these motherfuckin snakes off this motherfuckin plane.
Ben: This suckers going down faster then a Thai hooker!
Betsy: Seriously. We will make you a giant, foam plane costume and I will dress as a snake and you can carry me on your back all night. I will also bite you in the ass. BEST HALLOWEEN EVER.
Ben: Oh. My. God. I am in. You need to suck the venom out of my ass too. Sporks!
In most cases, sporks are the most useful instrument to dig out, sink, flush, scoop or squash just about anything. Unfortunately, they are completely useless against poisonous snakes. Or.... snakes on crack.
Ben: Champ the co-pilot was just thrown down a flight of airplane stairs by an airplane snake. Green or teal, Betsy? Green or teal? And now the plane is indeed going down faster than a Thai whore.
Betsy: I did not see that coming Ben. I truly did not.

When the Leaves Fall, I Get Up

2007-10-15T14:15:00.000-04:00

I am hereby starting my 2nd annual "Kickin Ass and Takin Names" fall extravaganza! This consists of literally kicking my own butt (i.e. 4 to 5 days a week in the gym or in the nia studio), lots of water, and less crappy food. I did it last year and it really helped me keep the winter slump at bay. I'm excited and, for lack of a better word, pumped about it. Everything is falling into place right now and I really feel like my body should perfectly match my very happy mood.
I know I said that I would make an effort to get really fat after Burning Man (right Leo??) but the truth is... The 5 pounds I have gained have just made me sleep two more hours a night. No. I'm not interested in more sleep. If anyone wants to join me or already does (insert public thanks to Jon and Meishan here)... are you in??

Two Tickets to Paradise

2007-09-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

I won a buttrock contest at the Bottleneck Lounge on Saturday night! My friend Cam works there and told me about it on Saturday morning. The prize was two tickets to the Styx, Foreigner, Def Leopard concert on Wednesday night at the White River Amphitheater. I never win anything so this was a big deal for me! Yay! And it's all made doubly better by the fact that I'm pretty sure I've made my friend Kiki the happiest person on the planet. When I told her she was coming to the concert with me she kept yelling, "Do you promise?! Are you serious?! Do you PROMISE???!"

Also, I made a shitski for Tricia. I'll explain.

Awhile ago, my friend Ben bought a cabin on Crystal Mountain. On the mantel of the cabin was a "shotski". This is an actual ski with shot glasses epoxied onto it. Fast forward to earlier this year. In an unfortunate typing error, my friend Tricia requested a "shitski". Oh no you didn't! She did.

So, for her birthday last Wednesday, I made a shitski. Basically, it's a shotski with plastic poops glued onto it. It should be mentioned that it's SUPER DUPER hard to find plastic poops in Seattle. I finally found them at a dollar store in Ballard - Costume and Display didn't even have them! When I dropped my six piles of plastic poo at the cash wrap the woman behind the counter solemnly said, "these are a big seller." Not kidding.

It's Not So Bad, It's Just ....What was I saying?!

2007-09-11T15:22:00.001-04:00

It's so hard to concentrate right now. Everything at work seems like a pain in the ass. It's really sunny outside, frankly I'm very tired today. Cranky me.
Although it doesn't seem right to bring it up here quite yet, my life is changing very rapidly right now. Lots o stuff. I think I need to go camping. Maybe go up to Bellingham, scoop up Sierra and go away for a couple of days. Let my head mellow. I'm so distracted, I need a new word for distracted.

Beeble.

Wedding Photos

2007-09-09T15:22:00.000-04:00

In a drunken moment of silliness about two months ago, I asked my friend Jon to marry me. Well, we actually did it at Burningman this year. The wedding was scheduled for Thursday, exactly one year to the day we met. Well, we accidently slept through it on Thursday so we rescheduled for Friday. It was very religious, we got married at the porta potties by our friend Cam (who was wearing red, white and blue underwear). Classy.

2007-09-06T19:16:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I told Jess the story of my Burning Man this year. She urged me to write it down so I can remember all the gorey details and awesome moments. I will do it too. But not here.
To be noted:
I got married, I carried around one poptart for three days and only managed to eat a quarter of it. I rode a horse, I saw every sunrise, I found camp forever and ever, I watched the man burn twice. I danced on top of a birthday cake wearing a tiger striped onesie and platforms while the sun came up and Marc played all my songs - because I was the only girl on the dance floor. I laughed, I cried, I slept only intermittenly. I laid my head on someone's shoulder and watched the sun turn orange, I danced at a vampire bar. I sighed. I lost control and when I did I got exactly what I needed.
It was perfect this year. This year was perfect.

Don't bug me.

2007-08-25T22:10:00.000-04:00

I'm in the desert till next week having more fun that 100 people combined.

Update: New Hair Cut Rocks Ass

2007-08-20T16:41:00.001-04:00

Even MORE amazing news!

2007-08-17T11:52:00.000-04:00

More amazing news being that I was stopped at a stop light yesterday morning and there was a large black woman wearing a parka and no pants. She had her leg propped up on a fire hydrant and she was SHAVING IT. I fumbled to get my phone so I could take a picture but the guy in back of me started beeping his horn. I leaned out the window to do a "do you see what is happening here?!" gesture. But, alas, I had to move.
Carey spent the night last night and when we were driving her home this morning we drove by the lady. She was in the same place with her bright white parka and her silky smooth legs.

Sunshine Swimming

2007-08-15T15:35:00.000-04:00

It's a beautiful day. I am so grateful every morning I wake up and see the sun shine. I know that the light is leaving us - I get up at 5:30 am on Mondays and Wednesdays and it's so much harder to drag my sorry ass out of bed when it's dark out. I'm just happier when it's sunny. The dark months, the late ones like January and March, April and May are the worst - they kinda kill me. You are sort of forced to crawl into your brain to keep your head above water. It's true, the sunlight does so much for your happy gene!

I'm going swimming today. Because I love nature: Exhibit A

I'm excited to soak up some of that much loved sun. I gotta start layin on the sunscreen though. I'm already all Mexico colored and I leave for the playa in two weeks (ek!Yay!)

Like a Kid Waiting For Summer Camp

2007-08-10T18:24:00.000-04:00

Today the sky is baby blue. It's a slow day and I have time to go back and read some of my past posts. "My fourth year at Burning Man.."
"My third year heading to the playa"
I'm starting to get excited. I leave in two weeks (give or take). I'm starting to day dream about dust in my mouth, the wind sound in my ears and dancing in the heat. I'm starting to turn up the radio and dance. I want to dance all the time lately. I went out dancing last night and at one moment I thought to myself, "I could do this everyday of the week."
Time is speeding up - there's so much to do and so little time to do it in. It's like sliding downhill...
That's all for now.

Just Put It On Me

2007-08-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

There are exactly two coffee shops on the way to my work. Both sell bagels. Both will TOAST your bagel but neither actually puts the cream cheese on for you. They both give you shitty little cubes of cream cheese - not even enough for one bagel cheek. And one of the places doesn't even cut the goddamn bagel for you. Apparently, you're supposed to just squeeze the cream cheese tube onto your bagel like you do toothpaste. I feel like this situation is just plain rude. I hate to complain about costumer service. I feel like when you do that you automatically turn into a lil' ole man with a snap up shirt and hair in his ears. Wracka Fracka.
But it's just mean. That's all I'm saying. The lack of cream cheese application is harshing my mellow.

What to look like when you can't hear yourself starving.

2007-07-16T00:50:00.000-04:00

I did a lil photo shoot yesterday and this picture came out of it. I really look like I'm a sexy hungry deaf person.

Did I mention..

2007-07-14T15:48:00.001-04:00

.... that I covered a bus in fabric? Most people know that I like to make and design clothing. A turn of events has led me to an interesting, more artistic side of design. Through my work with flight2mars I recently was given the challenge of turning the Squiddudah bus (before it was a birthday cake it was a squid. No seriously. Just a squid. There's nothing to explain.) into a giant birthday cake.

It is 12 feet high, 30 feet long and consists of 440 yards of tulle. I did everything but the letters - with the help of Kevin (thanks for the coffee and yay) and Meishan (thanks for everything all the time Julie Newmar) I got it done in just two weeks.

It's Time to Get Crazy Nick Nolte Style

2007-07-13T16:35:00.000-04:00

I have had so much energy lately. I'm not sure if its the sun, the breakup, the zip fizz...no real idea. I've been sleeping like a truck driver. I wake up every two hours sort of with a start - wide eyed and crazy and sort of feeling like taking a jog. All of this crazy energy has led me to only one conclusion: I'm going to dress like Nick Nolte for Jon's party on Saturday night.
Yes folks, it's International Con Air Day. When we gather together, dress up like our favorite convicts and watch the movie Con Air. I've got my hawaiian shirt. I've got my crazy person hair ready: Nick Nolte here I come. I might make jewelry from pill bottles if I have time.

My New Bad Influence

2007-07-03T11:34:00.000-04:00

My stomach just hasn't been right in the last few days.

That's all.

Anywho, went camping last weekend. It was enormously fun but I'm sure reading about it wouldn't be as big a thrill. It was the type of weekend where many inside jokes get made. It was rainy and sunny (left me with a sunburn actually). It was fun to the point of tiring. Now I'm thinking, "The Man burns in 60 days? I'll never ever make it through the burn this year." I'm pooped out.
I had a great dance party in the middle of the forest that really was great. Met some new fabulous people. And the semi new ones were fun too - those people who you didn't realize knew your name. Good bonding time with both of my Matt friends. Lil' Matty sure is a bad influence on me though.
My very first best friend was Johanna Freiheit (I believe there are pics of her on the blog somewhere). I took her for show and tell in Kindergarten. I announced to the class, "This is my best friend Johanna. I do whatever she says." This, apparently, it my exact same feeling about Matt. It's just that it's not stuff like "kick that bike tire" or "eat all the bananas in my jello". Oh no. It's more "get drunk and go swim in the freeeeeezing river!" And I do. Can't help it. Can't not do what Matt tells me to.

Scooty Mc Scootsalot

2007-06-26T18:52:00.001-04:00

Here I am. Day two. I really am gonna start writing in this bloggy again. I kinda love it because it's so naughty of me. My own laptop decided to blow it's brains out last weekend. So right now I am blogging at work. Naughty.

Spent much of last night hard at work and crafting again. Good conversation kept me going. I woke with a sore throat this morning - perhaps a week straight of midnight bedtimes is catching up with me? I hope not because I'm really looking forward to a great weekend. Just your basic camping trip full of hot dogs, whiskey and sparkly fringe. Jesus. I'm sure that our camping trips look like a trip to Studio 54 to most people.

I'm really into using the word "scoot" whenever possible. It's a damn cute word.

I went on a bit of a shopping spree yesterday. Bought new playa boots. Eww. They are wet hot. I can't wait to give them a spin.
Bought sunglasses - my old ones bit the dust the same day my laptop blew it's brains out. It's been a hard week for my hardware.
Finally bought "Back to Black". I said last night that I thought this would be the really annoying cd of the summer. It's dripping with soul, moaning and great words like "fuckery". I've been listening to it since yesterday afternoon. It will be all played out by tomorrow. Anyone want to borrow it? Must trade for a Decemberists cd.

Now scoot.

The Big Break

2007-06-25T17:18:00.000-04:00

I haven't written in this sucker since right after I left New York last year. Unbelievable. How is it - and please tell me I'm not the only person who does this - you think to yourself "I'll just take a week off".... suddenly it's 6 months later. That's how people get fat and stay fat. They just go, "I'll eat this one cookie.." and POOF! They are 52 and 320 pounds with a cholesterol of 442.
Moral? Eat fruit. Keep writing in your blog.

Well, it's a sunny day in June.
EW! SIDE TRACK!
I have a bird name June. In general, he's a cranky, he pulls out his own feathers, he doesn't like anyone unless they are feeding him, he poops about every 10 minutes, and spits his food AWAY from the cage to annoy me. He's a dick wad. So, lately, in my mind, I've changed his time. I feel like this is a good place reveal his new name: Screamy McPoopsalot.

Right. It's a sunny day in June. Sitting here watching the duck rides go past on Lake Union (if you don't know about the duck rides it's cause you're not from Seattle. Don't sweat it. ) I'm looking forward to drinking margaritas in my girlfriend Jaki's backyard after work. Not too many margaritas (I'll save that super human drinking shit for next weekend at Critical Massive) cause I have to go help Jlo with the fancy golf cart thing he's making. It has a real name: the radioator?? Whatever. I tried to find the link on google but the truth is... I don't know the name. I should know the name but I don't know the name. So sue me.
This week has been a very exciting, long marathon of crafting. I have sewed in the rain, screamed bloody murder at a piece of purple thread, danced to "I want your sex" while sewing and babysitting at the same time - I am not maternal so no judggies with the sex + kids thing, I did the best I knew how - I've done laundry in Renton for no good reason, slept on a side walk, propped up giant candles, screwed, hemmed, poked myself, laughed, taken many pictures and gotten totally exhausted in the name of Flight. 2. Mars. Amen. It was the birth of the birthday cake bus. And it's a big, 30 foot long, 12 foot tall baby girl dressed in 440 yards of tulle. Pictures and announcements forthcoming.

Work is good. The new apartment is Divine! I took a very long bath last night - it was very seventh grade emo of me. I lit candles and put in bath salts (lavender), put my ipod on and sunk into a very long daydream. All bolts of light, running barefoot, messy hair kind of daydream. Lots of long looks and really really torturous longing. Last night, my daydream was the perfect summer novel.

And THAT, my friends, was my first post in a very long while. Congratulations to me!

Um... Maybe I'm Wrong

2006-11-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

I just want to say that since two days AFTER election day it has been raining. Rivers are burping over their banks, streets are ponds and it doesn't look like it will stop anytime soon. Is the earth Republican?

The Day the Republican Party Imploded

2006-11-08T22:07:00.000-05:00

I remember the first George W. Bush election. I was in college and when it was finally announced, after several days of waiting by the t.v. and radio, that Bush was our new president. People were in the streets swearing - We are going to war! And this was before 911. We knew that 4 years of doom would follow.
Imagine my surprise two years ago when he got reelected. I was truly in shock and awe. I couldn't believe that I was living in a county that allowed such apathy.
We took back the house today. We took back the senate today. Rumsfeld has resigned. I voted. I was counted. I am relieved.
And the flood waters in Washington crested last night and fell this morning. As though the earth was sighing in relief.

Update: New Job Rocks Ass

2006-10-27T18:02:00.000-04:00

I'm happily typing away on my newly fixed laptop (thanks roomy Ben!), wearing my glasses, drinking coffee and working from home. I love this working from home thing. You mean I'm getting paid to sit in my pajamas, chat with the roommates, sip coffee, ect, ect, ect???! I LOVE this.
Now I can finally download all of my pictures - of which there are several. Those will be up soon.

Yay life.

I've also added some pictures of totally amazing Halloween costumes I've found. The giant vagina costume gets bonus points for construction! For the Hivemind party on Saturday I'm going as a Harijuku girl. I'm not the only one. There are twelve of the Orrivias (As in asian Olivia Newton John - the theme of the party is Grease Frightening). We will be passing out engrish pins - I'm obsessed with everything engrish right now. Go to engrish.com. It will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. We'll all be wearing baby backpacks, carrying memobooks (autograph peese?) and sake. It's gonna be a riot!

Bullets: Let's Make Reading Happy

2006-10-24T20:03:00.000-04:00

My laptop is broken people. I'll be lucky if anyone checks this thing anymore considering I've left it for so long.
I'm doing well and would like to list my life topics by using bullets. Why bullets? Because they are
A. cool
B. easy to read

* Living in Seattle
* Living in a large house with 5 other kickass people. We are happy and I really don't ever need to leave. I'm late to work every morning because there's a party in my kitchen.
* Have new sewing studio*. This is VERY EXCITING.
* Have new job/office/boss
* My boss is me*.
* Going to large Halloween party. The theme of the party is "Grease Frightening." I'm going as Orrivia Newton John - the asian Olivia.

***VERY EXCITING

I'm All Pepperoni

2006-10-06T18:50:00.000-04:00

My computer is broken so I'm writing this at work. Beyond the crunchie computer problem, I'm currently working two jobs and have just moved into a huge, fabulous house where there is always something going on. I'm always busy or on the bus. The damn bus is sucking my life away. Or adding to it. I don't really know. I just wish it was relaxing AND quick. That would be wonderful. I think I just realized why I voted for the monorail...
In other news; all my stuff smells like pepperoni. Apparently, when you ship your possessions UPS ground they can be in small spaces with stinky things such as.....cured meats. Thanks UPS.

The Brick House

2006-10-01T23:40:00.000-04:00

I finally have a place to live. I'm very excited about my new living situation - one of the biggest lessons my time in NYC taught me is that you need other people to live. You must let the people love you really love you. Because, the truth is, you need them to.
So that's partly why I'm glad that the universe has led me to the Brick House. It's on Capital Hill/Central District and it's down right gigantic. I have five very cool roommates that I've bonded with really quickly. That's a lie. I haven't met one of them. No worries though.
I can't wait to live in a big space with other creative, active people. And I have an art studio! YES! Pictures to come...

Capitol Hill's No Clothing Couple

2006-09-27T18:43:00.000-04:00

There are so many things I could say right now about moving back to Seattle, the transition (or lack of) but..
I really just want to send a shout out to the "No Clothing" couple who live across from Greg and Jess. I've been camping out in their (Greg and Jess's of course) new condo for the last week or so and these kids have kept me occupied the entire time. Before Greg left for Baltimore, he gave me a heads up.
"Be sure to look out for the couple across the way. They're always missing one piece of clothing."
Sure thing, Greg.
The beauty about this totally wonderful due is that they were never fully clothed but always partly unclothed.
Mary and I spent a good hour just watching them put up a tapestry in their new apartment. He wasn't wearing a shirt and she wasn't wearing pants (a woman after my own heart.) They sort of absentmindedly roamed around the room, tapping on walls ("no sir, you don't actually need a stud to hang up a tapestry. News flash: it's fabric."), looking at the ceiling and genuinely trying to figure out the best place for their totally lame tapestry. This couple is completely out of that era that some of our parents are from. You know, the one where they were hippies with kids and lots of plants and their houses smelled like cumin? "No Clothing" couple is recalling those days for all of us. Thanks guys, you rock.

Strive

2006-09-21T23:18:00.000-04:00

I'm spending time at Greg and Jess's posh, new apartment on Capitol Hill for the week. Not only is this place beautiful - deck, real bed, shower and if you wanna throw out your garbage, you walk down the hall, open a door and put it down a shoot and turns into a cube. No shit. This place is magic.
It's also centrally located. There are two bus lines that pick up right outside every few minutes. I can literally get to anywhere in the city quite easily from here. And I don't usually go far because between Capitol Hill, Downtown and Belltown, all my bases are covered.
It's becoming pretty obvious that living on Beacon Hill is going to be tough without a car. Doable but really tough. The Beacon Hill house is big and beautiful - my roommates are lovely - but I think I need to seriously look into getting my own place sooner than I anticipated. Luckily, I start working next week. That's good and bad because both of my jobs are in Ballard, also known as the other side of the moon. I'll be working on Capitol Hill at the beginning of the month. But bussing from Beacon Hill to Ballard is going to take a serious dose of patience. Not looking forward to it. Wish me luck!
Meanwhile, I'm really super duper enjoying not having a car in Seattle. I feel so much more connected to the city and aware of my surroundings. It's quickly becoming my biggest weapon against Seattle apathy (the weather does it. I swear.)
I'm going disco dancing tonight. I thought you should know. Did you hear that? Disco dancing.

It's better if you say it with a German accent.

The Move Story: Cycle Two

2006-09-20T17:05:00.000-04:00

Guess who I sat next to on the plane to Houston? Crazy drunk lady and her boar in a bag. Girlfriend had a few squibbles with the flight attendant before finally squishing her boar (alright. On the plane I figured out that it was actually a long, black haired mini dog with bug eyes.) back into it's box. Then we take off. And she passes out. Full on, passes out, takes her shoes off, head bowing into the aisle, drooling and snoring. Unacceptable. Especially because her dog was barking and scratching the shit out of it's box. So I'm sitting, squished up next to the window - trying not to think about the cake. Still can't talk about the cake - with this shaking, whining box at my feet. For two hours. TWO HOURS. I felt bad for the dog. The box AND the drunk mommy? That's bad. Maybe that's why when he finally scratched a hole through the side of the box I just sat and sort of watched him birth himself out of the box and underneath the seat next to me. Let him run. I'm not gonna stop him. Besides, I had to pee so it was a good idea if Momsie woke up.
You know what though? The boar got about four rows back and this woman picked him up, walked him back to drunky and sort of tapped on her shoulder until she woke... "Madame, you dog broke out of it's...box." She sort of just lifted her head, took the dog and slipped it under the coat covering her and fell back asleep. But he was quiet until we landed.
Oh, then I missed my second plane. It had already taken off before I even landed. So that explains the two extra hours in the Houston airport.
Why is airport food so bad? And expensive. Like Ben says, you're grateful for the three week old chocolate croisant you eat standing by the bathrooms. It's the healthiest thing you can find in a mile radius.
So I landed in Seattle two and half hours later than I had planned. Bee and Ben were there to greet me. It was wonderful even though I smelled bad, had my glasses on and bbq sandwich on my shirt (I know how to make an entrance.).
Since then everything has been quite surreal and very normal all at the same time. I'm comfortable, at ease and excited. I feel safe and very ready to have my own place. Beyond that, there aren't words because I'm still figuring it all out by the minute.

The Move Story: Cycle One

2006-09-20T13:36:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been drunk on a plane?
My last day in Manhattan. It’s all happening too fast - like when you’re hanging your head out a car window. I don’t do that very often, but when I do, I notice everything passing me very fast.
Let me say first that I’m in an airport bar at 7:40am. I’m eating my 45 dollar chicken Caesar wrap thingy and a gallon of coffee. I think it’s note worthy that there is a woman sitting at the bar drinking a Hiney and she’s got a cat or small dog or wild boar in at bag at her feet. Every few minutes she gets up to do something and the bag animal freaks out.
I worked a whopping 9 hours yesterday. It was the busiest day of the year at 88 Orchard - Pickle Fest. God bless Pickle Fest. Did you know that there’s a Caribbean pickle? Did you know that you can pickle just about anything? Even mushrooms? Did you know that there are people in the world who LIVE for pickles? It’s their life blood, their family tradition and their favorite thing all wrapped into one. So for one day of the year on the lower east side, all the pickle crazies gather together, shut down a city block and go hog wild. Coincidently, pregnant woman from all over the world are seemingly pulled toward this very block. I saw more preggies yesterday than should be legally possible. Really. I’m surprised the world didn’t tip to one side and all the pickles didn’t fall off the side of the world (the FLAT world. Duh.) and float off into the atmosphere. Those preggies were pickle crazed. I didn’t have the heart to tell them all that pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil. I was afraid for my life. For now the secret will have to live in silence.
I was done with work after I collected my cash and said a hearty goodbye to my great boss, Erica and the crazy dog lady. I did NOT say a hearty goodbye to my shitty coworker Josh. I just want everyone to know that now that I’m done working there I feel ok about admitting that I THROUGHLY HATE JOSH. What a dick. He asked me on a date on my first day at work. Can you believe that? Ridiculous. After I let him down he turned on me and became Hairy Shitty Coworker Who Is Also Apparently Deaf. I will not miss Josh. Poop on Josh.
Josh still lives with his mother.
Take that.
So I left work and took the long way to the train, taking in Bowery for the last time (this time around anyway.) I got off the train in Brooklyn and met my new friend Ellie. She and I went to a cake shop called “The Cake Man.” But the catch is, he doesn’t really make cakes so much as gigantic sugar and flour expressions. (Side note: I like to call good art Expressions. Like at work, when I did chalk drawings on the sandwich board I’d call them “Creative Chalk Expressions.” It sort of reduces everything creative into something like those t-shirts that have clouds sprayed on them.)
The Bag Animal just flipped out again and it’s Mom made kissy noises at it. This whole experience is divine. That’s right Mommy, have another beer. Make your boar baby go away.
Ellie and I got a huge piece of red velvet cake, walked back to her brownstone and ate it on the stoop. It was still warm and - ok. I gotta make this story short because I still can’t talk about the cake. It was too good to be true, it seemed like a good idea at the time and has made me solidly nauseous ever since (it’s been over 10 hours.) Someday I’ll be able to talk about the cake. Today is NOT that day.
My good friends Kat and Jesse live in an apartment building near Ellie’s. There is an empty bar below their apartment - apparently the couple who owned it were big public fighters and fought their way out of the lease and got kicked out. The landlord is the same guy who owns 88 Orchard (and most of the lower east side for that matter). He’s William and he’s awesome point blank. Coolest landlord who ever lived.
Anyway, William gave Jesse and Kat the keys to the bar for one night. So last night we had an amazing time barbequing and laughing in a big ole abandoned bar. It was fun, like when one of your friend’s parents have a bar in the basement and you play with it when they’re at work. It was a great way to usher myself out. Damn that William though. He and his wife Lim Chee brought two big coolers with 12 different kinds of beer. Wasted. I’m not a beer drinker and I really became one last night. I took a car home. It cost me 40 dollars. Reason 88374982c to leave NYC.
Alright. What you’ve read so far was written early this morning at JFK airport (in the Shannon’s Lounge if I do say so myself). NOW I’m in Houston airport (missed my first plane, now I’m waiting on another.)
Where was I? I took a ridiculously expensive cab back to Harlem. I sat with Vonia and drew pictures of stealth bombers for awhile. The stealth bomber story is a really good one. Will someone remind me to tell it? The car was coming to pick me up at 5:30 and it was 2:30 when I fell asleep, drooling drunk. Thanks a lot to my responsibility gene. You totally let me down buddy.
I woke up at five with dreams of a shower in my head. I didn’t have the time though which is a shame because I had an unfortunate self tanning accident and I’m giving new meaning to the words “blotchy” - great word - and “orange”. Fortunately, I fit right in in the Houston airport. From where I’m sitting it looks like Texas has a love affair with self tanner.
I don’t though. I’m not going near the stuff for a long time. But I didn’t have the time to wash it off this morning - I had to stay orange. I packed the rest of my stuff and managed to clean a few surfaces before I left. I do remember having a fight with my tennis shoes as I tried in vain for 10 minutes to stuff them into them. Mostly I remember sweating pushing them under the zipper and muttering “Shoozies!”
…………….This entry was written on Sept. 18th 2006 in New York City, NY, Houston, Texas and Seattle, Washington. To Be Continued….

Punched in the Neck! (made you read)

2006-09-16T12:15:00.000-04:00

I've been going blog crazy in the past few days. Bloggy.
Going over blog.
Takin it to the blog.
Blogs away!

Umkay. So read 'em all folks. My life is moving at the speed of light right now. I need you to keep up with me. For my friends who can't read - I'll have more pictures soon (other than ones that I just added of Burningman). Just work on the "reading" thing and I'll update you when I see you. I hope you learn to read. That's a bummer.

I don't know what happened last night but if feels like someone punched the back of my throat. Like if you could unhinge my jaw like a snake and then punch the back of my throat. That's what it feels like. I think my tonsils are bruised. Wha? How did I do that? I'm sort of proud of myself.

So my "going away" party was last night. I had to work but closed the restaurant early. At night, we only have some food, beer and wine. There was a party for the hat shop opening down the block and they were GIVING AWAY FOOD, BEER, AND WINE. Are you kidding me? So we closed at 10pm.

Obviously at 10, I'm like, "where's my party?" So I sat with the crazy dog lady and her dog on the front stoop of work for another hour. Reason 587, volume A, subparagraph B, why I should leave Manhattan.

What are you gonna be for Halloween?

2006-09-15T15:58:00.000-04:00

I need ideas. I'm looking for a costume that fufills at least two of the following...

1. Bizarre
2. Not Sexy (or if it is, it's easy to wear)
3. Funny
4. Something I can make a project out of
5. People won't know who I am
6. Shoes that don't cause me to fall down
7. A costume that I can play tricks on people in
8. Makes other people uncomfortable
9. A costume part that detaches and I can leave as my dopelganger. I don't know how to spell dopelganger.
10. A costume that makes a political or social statement

If YOU'RE looking for a good costume, here's my suggestion. Out of pure genius, I decided to google image search my own name the other day. I call it "Finding Your Best Betsy" the winners are .... (!)

Betsy Morris is Comedy's Pamela De Barge

2006-09-15T15:37:00.000-04:00

You know what? I think it would be cool to be a groupie. I like the idea of that (insert mom screaming here). I think it would be way more fun to be a groupie than a rock star. Cause a rock star has to work and sweat and, you know, all rock stars are fat kids on the inside. You know that right? But groupies. Now there's a concept. You all gross on the outside but you feel like a million bucks AND - no more fat kid on the inside for you. For the rest of your life you can say - and only at parties in a low voice. You know, that "I don't want to make a big deal out of it but.." voice. "I'm humble" voice. Love using that voice - once, I dated "rock star". How hot is that? But you gotta say "dated" cause "humped" or "screwed" doesn't sound right.
That's what I think.

I watched Dane Cook's comedy last night. OHMYGOD. This is where the whole "groupie" thing came up for me. I really can't see me falling for a guy in band. I'm too competitive and mean for that. I'm not an easy target. God bless the boy who walks up to me in a bar. It never works and I turn into some kind of Robo Bitch that chews men for dinner. That and shy boys. I run over shy boys like I'm a Mack truck. But you know what? I can completely see myself as the girl at Dane Cook's show, front row, screaming like a banchee and ripping my blouse off. And I don't even wear blouses but I would for him. I'd gladly turn into a Michael Bolton listening, blouse wearing, big haired milf if that's what he wanted. He's my new rock star. I would be the girl who told people she couldn't walk just to get wheelchair access to the good seats at a Dane Cook show. Yes I would. Hell yes.

Hey Seattle! Wanna date?

2006-09-14T12:37:00.000-04:00

I'm sittin at home today, waiting for my UPS guy (What up! Maah North in the house!). He came this morning to pick up my stuff but didn't have enough room in the truck - I don't have much shit but whatever- so now I'm waiting for him to come back. It seems fitting that Maah brought my stuff to me in NYC and how he'll usher it out. He's my possessions' dulah.
I have a few more days before I return to the Emerald City. That's cool. I could leave now, I could hang out for another month. Whatever. What's that? I'm in denial? Wow. News Flash.
I'm really excited about doing some normal things. On the top of my list is practicing Nia again. Before I left for Manhattan I was practicing 4 to 5 days a week. I'm ready to get back into it (Nia in NYC proved to be one step past impossible. The only way to take classes is to join a 300 to 400 sports club). I'm worried because my feet are fucked up. I broke a toe in my right foot right after I got here and messed up my left foot wearing high heels on a booze cruise with Miss Kathy Kim. A guy at burningman told me it was because my metatarsal was separated or in the process of separating from the muscle. I don't know but it kinda feels like that. But are you really gonna believe some dude who was playing with your feet at Burningman? Humph.
I'm excited to get a hair cut. I'm excited to walk through the doors of a Grocery Outlet. I'm excited to rock it with DJ Valpack at the Bus Stop on Sunday afternoon. I wanna run around Greenlake. Ok. That's a lie. I'll probably walk/run.
Hey Seattle? Wanna date?

On Burningman, Being Alone and Going Home

2006-09-09T14:59:00.000-04:00

Burningman was fantastic. You know, every year you learn something profound from the event. And I'm not talking about "if I don't drink enough water I get cranky." There's always a big break through to be found out there in the desert. For me, my fourth year at Burningman was full of indescribable pulling. Feelings that can't really be put into words. Like I could feel the polls pushing me in new and different directions.
I've mentioned that I'm going through the Artist's Way program before. As a result, I'm begining to redefine my notions about god. I've become more comfortable talking to the universe. I see signs that the universe lays out for me. So, perhaps, I'm more susceptible to guidance than I've been in recent years.
Morgan said, "We're all alone in life. The sooner we realize it, the better off we are. We are alone - which is empowering as much as it is sad. But once we accept it, we can better appreciate those in our life who love us." I think that's true. It also helps us let everyone around us be who they are instead of trying to mold them into a version that better suits us.
Carey and Benni both talked about choices. All we have are choices, it's up to us to realize this and then make the best choices for us. Like Carey said, "the funny thing about life right now is that we have a these choices - not many concrete people, places or things but choices about how to find them. It's radically freeing and horribly terrifying all at once." She's right. But then again, it's safe to say that Carey Christie is right about everything. In my world anyway.
So I came back to New York clearer about the fact that I'm alone, I act as a singular individual. It may seem simple to everyone else but I feel that I make decisions all the time that have nothing to do with me. I'm always trying to be what others expect me to be. I let them rule out of guilt. Where the mounds of guilt comes from - I'll leave that for next year. But after I left the playa I became really relieved of responsibility to others. It turns out that responsibility to ME is pretty easy so far.
And speaking of universal signs, when my cell phone finally came back in service (there's none in the desert) there were two messages:
1. Did you need a place to live? I've got a big house on Beacon Hill that you can live in while I'm gone. (this from two good friends who also escaped Manhattan)
2. Did you need a job? Just tell me when.

I'm coming home. The tides of relief are cresting - I've been sleeping up to 10 hours a night. My mind and my body are relaxing. I don't really feel the need to explain my reasons; they're mine. And I don't really need anyone's opinion. I'll just say that still waters run deep, especially this time around.

You Don't Have 22 Days Anymore

2006-08-28T09:43:00.000-04:00

I remember when I woke up one morning and on the train to work I figured out that I have exactly 22 days before I left for Burningman. I remember exactly how that felt - I was very excited but didn't want to get too excited because I had a few weeks to pull through until I got there. It seemed like 22 days was three years and tomorrow from that exact point.

I think I'm in some serious denial about my impending vacation. I leave tomorrow morning. And by morning I mean 4am - and I'm really super not ready. I have a bunch of stuff I need to pick up today (and I work from 1 to 9) and some of that stuff is the kinda stuff that, if you forget it - you're screwed. So pray for me today blog readers; pray that I get my ass off the ground and snap back to reality.

It's ok to get excited now Betsy. I give you permission. NOW PACK!

2006-08-23T23:56:00.000-04:00

2006-08-23T23:52:00.000-04:00

What I've Made

2006-08-23T22:09:00.000-04:00

This Just In!

2006-08-23T20:55:00.000-04:00

http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/BetsyMorris/?action=view&current=StillSoAugust018.flv

http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/BetsyMorris/?action=view&current=StillSoAugust017.flv

http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/BetsyMorris/?action=view&current=StillSoAugust016.flv

Burningman is the Best Place in My Universe

2006-08-23T19:46:00.000-04:00

I'm so freaking excited to go to the playa for my fourth year. I need/deserve/want this vacation SOOOOO badly right now. I'm putting off any desisions until I'm done letting Black Rock City rock my body. Oh yes. Take me home.

Big Decisions

2006-08-19T10:50:00.000-04:00

I've been considering moving back to Seattle in the last month or so (in case you couldn't assume that from my blog). I really like the idea of making my quickly growing design business into a full time job. And I want to do that as quickly as possible.
I'd like to have a place of my own. A space primarily for creating but also for growing. I've adored living with Adam and Vonia - they are the best roommates ever. But I still feel like I'm visiting in New York City and it's time for me to settle down and feel at home.
And yet another part of the problem is financial. I'm so broke. In fact, everyone I know here is broke. Every single person I've met in New York City is barely getting by financially with large amounts of debt. Everyone else seems to find this comforting - if I'm broke at least everyone else is too - but I can't stand it. There are certain lines I don't like to cross and I've crossed them. I need my own space, an actual bed, and maybe get myself a plant or something. If I leave here, I never want to think about money the way I have here again. It's a scary thing; being broke. I don't dig it. But I honestly don't think I can dig my way OUT of it if I stay here. That's pretty clear.
And then there's the little things, the bad smells, the disturbing things you see on a daily basis, the rats, ect. These are things that don't really factor into my leaving but make it easier to do so.
But the move is still just a consideration. I love the idea of going back to Seattle, getting a place to live and a studio to work out of. This is an actual possibility in Seattle where as I would never ever ever be able to do it in NYC. I love the idea of selling my designs and reaching into a new existence that I didn't think I could achieve before. That being said, I want to make 100% sure that there is nothing left here for me to miss before I decide to go. Although New York has been uncomfortable at times (certainly not all the time), I think I've learned a bunch of valuable lessons in the last 5 months.

Rain

2006-08-15T09:32:00.000-04:00

It's raining and foggy here in Manhattan today and I'm homesick from the moment I wake and peer out the window. It's Seattle rain too. It's foggy and the drops small and steady. Most of the time, rain around here is totally different. The clouds come and then the lighting, the rain comes in sheets - like movie rain- and then leaves in twenty minutes. The city stops what it's doing and hangs out in doorways, watching the rain, knowing it will all be over in 10 minutes. If not sooner. Mean rain. Everything is faster in Manhattan.

I've been thinking about going back to Seattle just about every morning for the last month. Something about starting over sounds very sweet right about now.

Welcome To August

2006-08-06T20:52:00.000-04:00

This is how we do.

#1 Ending sketches of biggest July/Aug Project: Operation Make Petey Pretty

What to do when it's 110 degrees and you feel like a sausage? Unscrew that fire hydrant baby, the cops will look the other way....

.... Or you get drunk and make slasher movies in the shower because it's too hot to make them in the living room....

I know this looks porny but, well, I couldn't resist. For those of you going through puberty (or for those of you who know someone who is) take it from me; the fastest way to a hairy chest is sewing a faux fur costume in 105 degree heat. Humidity amore fur. So this is me people, one time only (!) with a furry chest.

Warning: Sticky Summertime Subways Make You Ugly

2006-08-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

My ipod is mad. It's got a picture of a file folder and a (!) on it. It might as well say *&^&$*&&#^^!! YOU!" in neon lights. I've tried resetting it but alas, the last few days have been drowned in deafening silence. Just like Elizabeth without her diamonds, Brook without her Calvins... I am nothing without my ipod. I'm in black and white over here people! It's 105 degrees in the subway station and all I can do is listen to myself sweat.

Speaking of which, I really think I sweat twice as much out of my head than any other part of my body. I get this weird sweat beard every time I go outside. It's like my neck, cheeks and upper lip are crying. This is not a sexy conversation - I know. But neither is Manhattan in the summer time. No one looks like sleek and glistening. It's not a Beyonce video. It's hot and sticky and STINKY and crappy all the time. I drink 3 glasses of water a night. I really think that Burningman is going to be a fucking cake walk compared to this. This is like being microwaved; you're hot from the inside out. But, I must repeat, this does not LOOK hot. This looks melty and everyone waddles because they have diaper rash.

We all know what diaper rash is. Introducing, the new and improved adult version. If you're a girl and you wear a skirt and you eat so your legs touch, then you can get it. If you're a guy and you have nuts (hopefully) then you can get it. Everyone in Manhattan has it this time of year. Everyone waddles. They waddle or they walk like they just got off a horse. NOT HOT. Repeat it with me! NOT HOT!

Look! No Hands!

2006-07-29T10:16:00.000-04:00

I've been sketching a lot in the past few months. Mainly, I'm doing it for fun - a way to get all my ideas out of my head and onto paper. Problem has been that I'm not a real good artist.

At first, all my drawings looked like square people. The women looked like linebackers and the men looked like fridges. I'm getting better at making people more realistic but I still can't draw arms to save my life. I learning! Its hands maybe. Maybe hands are the hard thing to draw. I don't normally even bother with the hands. Usually my little people are handicapped. Get it??? No hands??? Ohhhhhh. Wow. Pun intended folks. Pun intended.

It will be another hot day here in Manhattan. I'm starting to understand that when people say "August is the worst month to live in New York." what they really mean is "the temperature in August turns NYC into a giant armpit." It's true. The humidity and the temp blend together to make the air sticky and just above body temperature.

Someone is playing the equivalent of Mexican Celine Dion outside my window. It's really loud and smultzy.

I want to give a shout out to Jess Thorsen. Girlfriend told me she reads this shit religiously and I love her for it. Jess, that "no hands" joke was for you. You go girl!

Building a Future

2006-07-27T12:24:00.000-04:00

I'm having such a blast building a big, fuzzy, furry suit for Peter Brown. I'm reading "The Artist's Way" right now. It's really changing my views on so many things. In addition to opening my eyes to my own needs, aspirations and future, I'm learning so much about the creative world in general.

One of the things the book talks about is the idea of the universe working with you to achieve your goals. For every inch you walk towards a full creative life, the universe walks a mile towards you. That's been true for me in the last few weeks. I started to design and then I got a phone call from Peter. I've been working on the design for Peter's suit for the last few weeks and have started to build it. Ever since then, the orders have been rolling in. I'm so happy! I'm really enjoying myself and, it's true, if you want something bad enough - you can manifest it.

Hooray for Divine Order!

When to Say "When"

2006-07-23T20:29:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about seeing all my friends at Burning Man a lot lately. So much so that I'm also thinking, "What happens when I get back from vacation? What to do when there are no more escapes from New York to think about?"

All of this begs the even bigger question, "How long do I want to be in New York?"

It gets better everyday here. Once you get a hang of the city - where things are, where to make money, how to get around - life gets more comfortable. I feel like the greatest thing for me so far is the enormous gratefulness I feel. I'm genuinely grateful for little details. I absolutely love that development.

I don't regret coming here - I'll do it again and again if my life guides me in that direction. I wouldn't mind staying in New York either. I'd like to go San Francisco still. I have visions of western beaches and big sunsets.

So we'll see...

The Siren Fest

2006-07-16T21:29:00.000-04:00

I love Brian's "Look! It's something exciting!" Face. Brian works with me and reminds me of my good friend Tyler Birch. They both lived in Portland at the same time, I wonder if they know eachother???

I just want to take a moment to point out the guy in back of Brian in the "cyclone" picture. Yeah. That guy.

Ah... The joys of the beach! In New York they come complete with elmo diapers and cigarettes! Watch for needles...

Brian and I trying to look hot.

Brian and I went to Coney Island for the Siren Festival on Saturday night. We saw the Scissor Sisters (my numbero uno musical love) and many other fun and educational things...

Happy again! Twenty minutes in the bathroom line, a horrifying bathroom experience and then? Knowing you won't have to go again for another half hour!

The Wonder Wheel in all it's glory!

The beach....

All in all, the beach may have been gross but it was a really fun night. We had a blast and saw some really wonderful break dancing. I hadn't been to the beach yet and... how could it get better? A free Scissor Sister's concert, the beach, a carnival AND a liter of beer for 4 bucks?!

Holy Al Gore!

2006-07-12T18:15:00.000-04:00

There was just a tornado in New York. What tha?

Contact Progress, Awesome God and the Superiority of New Yorkers

2006-07-12T13:08:00.000-04:00

AHHHHHHHHHH!! I have one of those weird mouse pads on my laptop that you just touch it instead of clicking? Do you know what I'm saying? It's a little rectangle at the base of the keyboard that does magical things that I don't understand. Sometimes I THINK about touching it and the mouse moves. Or other times, it just erases what I just wrote. I'm afraid of the rectangle. This blog was a lot longer two seconds ago and now I have to start from scratch.

STAY AWAY FROM THE MAGICAL RECTANGLE.

Carey and I had a long long long conversation last night. It was sublime. I felt at home and normal for the first time in a long time. I know it probably ate up most of my minutes but it was totally worth it. She just has a way of saying things that make perfect sense to me. I like the sound of her voice. We're so alike. We're so weird and messed up and completely the same.

We talked a bit about living in San Francisco together some time next year. That just blows my mind. That would be so awesome and wonderful for me. Awesome! Awesome like "Welcome to camp! Our God is an Awesome God!" awesome. A "Senior just asked you to go to prom with him!" Awesome.

Little things make me really happy right now. I think part of the reason people love New York so much is two fold:

1. Sometimes it's so hard that the moments it's good are really sweet.
2. If you make it, you can always say, "I live in New York" and everyone thinks you're cool. Even the people who live here with you.

I had to sleep with my contacts in last night. The drug store near my apartment has weird hours. I believe the hours may be ordained by when people actually feel like working at the drug store. Sort of an, we'll be open from 10 till 2 and then from 4 to 5 cause we need a long lunch. Lazy stupid drug store people are ruining my eyes! I couldn't get my contact solution until this morning (this is coupled with a very long story about really needing toilet paper that can't be told on this blog). But when I got home and took out my contacts and let them go swimming in my new (and very expensive) contact solution.... it felt.... Luxurious.

That story may make you think, "wow. Betsy's really desperate!" but you know what?? It's so wonderful to actually FEEL things. To realize what you have and what you get when you work for it. To be truly grateful. And to get all that out of buying contact solution? Well, that's a pretty sweet situation. That's progress.

On How Life Is... Ramble #4867b

2006-07-08T14:08:00.000-04:00

Well, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet: I'm not going to move to San Francisco in September. I was thinking of doing it but the money stuff got gnarly and I just couldn't justify it. I'm generally feeling as though my life has it's own direction right now and I can chose to follow it or not. If I chose not to, it tends to do what it wants anyway.
Besides, I like New York. It's taught me a lot. It's not a place where I want to settle down but it's been great visiting. I might as well stay a little longer. But I DO still feel like I'm visiting here. When I think about Seattle I become homesick. I become homesick for people, of course, but mostly I'm homesick for normalcy. I miss having my own space, driving a car, shopping in a supermarket, ect. It's not the "homesick" where you miss knowing what you'll be doing on a Friday night, miss your boyfriend and your best friends (even though I do). It's more of mourning for normal life.
In exchange for "normalcy" I get a whole lot though. I'm loving that side of it right now. I see famous people on the street - Anthony Kedis almost poked his eye out on my umbrella few weeks ago - amazing views, meeting new people, expanding my horizons. So I'm grateful. I'm eyes-wide-open-big-breath and JUMP! I'm fearless and ecstatic, cautious and curious - I'm brand new and very old all the time. For me, New York is every emotion.

Fourth of July Pictures

2006-07-07T19:29:00.000-04:00

Everyone squished to one side of the roof so we could see the fireworks...
Exercising my right to drink beer in public (as long as it's going incognito in a bag).
Vonia looking thrilled when we realized the park bathrooms were closed.
Our barbecue (from the left, Emily, Nathan, Vonia and Anita)
Tim in Prospect Park (Park Slope, Brooklyn)
Making Mr. T angry...
Me and my brand new bling. Thanks to 50 cent and his gorgeous design sense.

Fourth of July in Brooklyn

2006-07-05T15:15:00.000-04:00

I had an awesome Fourth of Jahizzle.

I went over to Tim's and cut his hair into a Mohawk once again. I swear, that boy's hair grows like a weed. If my hair grew like that I'd have bangs down to my ass by now. Truly! I really don't think my hair grows like other people's. I rarely cut it. My bangs grow really fast but the rest of my hair just doesn't get past a certain length. How I would LOVE to have hair down my back. Not ON my back but long girl hair. I guess I'll just have to get extensions and have Malibu Barbie Hair for a few weeks.... yet another way to blow 200 dollars.

In exchange for an awesome Mohawk, Tim shaved his beard into a beautiful trucker mustache. His mom is going to hate me. But I thought it was hilarious and perfect for our funny 4th of July. He looked like a friendly, white Mr. T. It was great!! I'll put pictures of it...

Tim's roomy Tonya noticed that I had Tim Hair all over my dress and gave me two new ones! She just walked into the kitchen and said, "Do you want these? My brother sent them to me and they don't fit." Oh my gosh. I haven't been able to go shopping since I got here so it was a big deal to get TWO new dresses. They both fit me perfectly. They are both from India (that's where Tonya is from) and one is silk! Yay! Thank you!

So I put on my new dress. Tim had a bunch of really gaudy bling from the last movie he wrapped. We put it on for fun. It's really horrid stuff. Huge and heavy with lots of fake diamonds. They even spin!

So we set off for the park; me and my new dress and Tim and his new mustache. The bling bought us several funny looks on the way.

There was a rain shower in the middle of the day and it was super hot out. Really tropical. We were all sticky. Prospect Park was filled with families. Water balloons, loads of children, cops and baseball games. There were signs everywhere saying "No fire. No barbecue." But there was literally a barbecue every 50 feet. I asked Vonia and she said that rules are generally ignored if everyone wants to do it. I love that! The people overruled the law! And it sure didn't hurt. All I saw all day were families happily eating chicken of the barbecue. All smiles.

We barbecued for a bit while Tim and Adam beat the 10 year olds at tee ball. They didn't go easy on the kids. It was funny - we were wondering if they were actually threatened by the little ones? Cause they sure were trying hard to beat them and when they did they celebrated!

When the sun began to sink in the sky we headed back through Park Slope to David and Anita's place. We went on the roof and spread out pillows and blanket so we could sit and watch the fireworks. NYC does three shows at once - the same fireworks at the same time in three different parts of the river. So everyone can see and a few lucky people can see them all at once. We all ended up squishing into one corner of the roof so we could see the show. Spreading out all those pillows for nothing.

We did sit for awhile afterwards and tell stories. I met a great director who is leaving to do a show in China next month. We had a great conversation.

Yay!

The Lady Shirt

2006-07-03T19:46:00.000-04:00

Early Morning. F Train to Delancy. On my way to work. I'm still sorta waking up. I'm just opening my eyes to the world. Just recognizing things around me - air conditioned car, tiles on wall, sandals, business coats, smells like Chinese food... and then... a grown man in a woman's shirt. A big, hairy chest covered by a tank top that is a LADIES tank. Not "could be, maybe, might have been" a woman's' shirt. NO. Razor back, royal blue (in a lady way). In the front, it has little spaghetti straps that are super short so the front, sort of, bib thingy, came up really high in the front. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's the sort of tank that a little girl usually wears. In fact, that's what this looked like. It looked like a dad had accidentally picked his kid's shirt out of the hamper, put it on and stomped down to the subway without a second look in the mirror. Oh wait. No one in their right mind- gay or straight- would wear this tank top with even ONE look. Except maybe Kimmy Gibbler.
Kay. Moving on. That woke me up a bit though. Little shock to the system. Kay.
Switch trains. Not cause I was really upset and had to leave the tank top premises but cause I needed to get where I was going. If I had time, I would have followed Mr. Lady Shirt to the moon. But it wasn't meant to be. I had to change trains so I could see.....

Eureka! Another man in a girl shirt! This time the culprit was a rather slim, young blond guy. This one is soo good! I wish you could have been there with me! Lady shirts! As far as the eye could see!

This girl shirt was a lovely shade of lilac. Perfect for early summer. It had a delicate V neck and small stitching. Short sleeves and a dainty cut right below the belly button. Just short enough to see his pale stomach. Gorgeous. Rockin the Lady Shirt. It's the new fad! Every man in New York is doing it! He was the crown jewel of the F train. Breathtaking. Bold.

Only in NYC beautiful babies! Well, maybe not but it sure was a gift. A big gift all wrapped up in a lady shirt.

She Works Hard for the Money! So Hard for it Honey!

2006-06-27T15:33:00.000-04:00

I might have roped myself a second job. So soon I'll be working seven days a week! Joy! Fireworks! Babies crying! Bombs falling! 4th of July! Lou Diamond Phillips!

Unneeded LDP joke?: Guilty.

So I hear that there is life outside your apartment. I'm starting a campaign to see if that's actually true. I went out last night (hold your applause please) with my first New York Friend. What's this you ask? Good question. It is a FRIEND made in NEW YORK! Not a friend who you've known who happens to live in New York. NO! A real, live person who you did not previously know but have made contact with while on the island of Manhattan! Also, yesterday was my official 3 month mark. I've been here for three whole months and 12 hours. And I apparently also have two jobs, one friend and no money. I'm movin up in the world!

It's been a rough couple of weeks though. I can't lie about that. My money situation has been killing me. The last two weeks have seemed like two months. You know how your brain works overtime and time itself seems to stretch out? I feel bad too because I talk to my mom and dad about it but it's a lot for them. It's stuff a friend should be hearing not your parents. They carry too much of a burden where as a friend can say "that sucks, here's a hug, chin up, I'll help you dumster dive." Well, it's not that bad. But.. you get it. Hopefully I'll find my way out of this mess. Actually, I know that will. It's just that it sucks in the meantime. Lonely and broke, it's still better than where I was 4 months ago. I'm learning important lessons and I'm finding a hell of a lot of potential I didn't know I had. I could talk the queen of England into hiring me at this point. I can smell and see barf without barfing! I can spot a crazy dude without hearing or seeing them. These are examples of NYC super powers.
I can survive on twenty dollars of fruits and veggies for a whole week. I can sleep on an air mattress with only a fan to keep me cool at night. I can organize my life a month ahead of time down to the hour on some days (with allotted time for travel between appointments).

Things I've been dreaming about lately:
1. Backyards
2. Clean, white, high thread count sheets
3. Cute boys
4. Yards of fabric. Bolts of fabric!
5. My own studio
6. Dogs
7. Hiking
8. Burning Man
9. Brussels Griffins
10. Abs!
11. Boundless energy
13. The ocean. Either one.
14. A beach. Sand in my hair.
15. Travel. I'd like to see the Taj Mahal with my own eyes. Mount Everest too. I don't need to climb it but I wouldn't mind seeing it at a distance.
16. Driving a car
17. Hair extensions. I think it would be fun to have long hair for awhile. Malibu Barbie long.
18. SHOPPING!

Johanna

2006-06-23T20:07:00.000-04:00

You know, it's funny, I write in my blog everyday. Around four o'clock, on the uptown F train...
I'm gettin around to actually writing it all down though. My computer has been hatin on me in the last week. I had to wipe off the hard drive and start with a clean slate. Everything seems to be working well now though - I've worked out some kinks, things are working better. I think I got a virus (picture my laptop barfing). And then, I also had problems with the very expensive, very new Norton security system my dad had installed on my computer. It doesn't like me. But apparently it LOOOOOVES viruses because it sure as hell pulled the goaly for them. Poop on Norton.
I'm gonna write more tomorrow but I wanted to put up some pictures of me and my friend Johanna. Johanna and I have known eachother since I was 6mo. (she was 8mo) old! We have an amazing friendship and bond that has spanned our lives so far and I'm sure will last until we leave this planet. Although we corespond regularly, we haven't SEEN each other for 11 years. Until last night.

What A Baby Website Looks Like

2006-06-17T22:02:00.000-04:00

We're gonna design one soon (LIE: someone is going to design one for us/with us). In the meantime, you can find Betsy and Vonia Designs (GET YOUR BVDs YO!) by visiting one of our homes on the net..
1. Our ebay store. http://stores.ebay.com/Betsy-And-Vonia
2. Our baby webpage
http://lionness54.googlepages.com/home

Is Wowza a Word? Or is it a Sound?

2006-06-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

Wowza. Long week.

The longer I'm in New York City the more I'm focused on money. How to make it, how to spend it , where to get it, when you get it, ect. Now I'm not blaming this solely on Manhattan because a bit of it has to have something to do with my mind on San Fran. But it costs so damn much just to BE here.
I really just want to stay home a sew. I have soooo many ideas right now. Especially for burning man. Coats, capes, caplets, jackets, thigh highs, fur bikinis, hats, gloves, shrugs, skirts, ect. I can't stop drawing them. Life would be so cool if I could just buy the perfect fabrics and have them guaranteed to sell. Then it wouldn't have to worry about the overhead.
My friend Tai is going to buy the tunic dress I made and wear it to a wedding in Paris. I love the idea that my designs take a little bit of me with them where ever they go. Almost as if I get to go to that wedding and live in Paris with Tai.
We send out a letter asking people to take pictures of themselves wearing our clothes so we can eventually put those pictures up on our website. A friend of Adam's has offered to make us one. This is really cool because I went to the library thinking I could just read a book and design a website. What kind of idiot am I? Building a website is like my running for Miss America. Like me trying to invent plastic. Walk on my hands across the Brooklyn Bridge!! AHHHHHHHHHH!! Web design is a nasty little bitch! Not doing it. Nope. That's why this smart guy is doing it: 1. He's free 2. He's totally not me.
Things that I think we should feature on the website:
1. Sandy Duncan's affinity for Betsy and Vonia Designs (BVD. duh.)
2. A bulldog wearing booties
3. Giant popsicle sticks
4. An entire evening gown made of metrocards

What do you think?

You're right. I'll add that to the list...

5. Boobs.

Jobby Job

2006-06-07T20:58:00.000-04:00

I got one. I ended up getting the job (at 88 Orchard) in the East Village.

My Mission Statement

2006-06-05T17:05:00.000-04:00

Look at me! I'm a lady with a plan!
I had two, count 'em TWO, interviews today. One at a film school and one at a coffee shop/bar in the East Village. New York is so weird. The film school was beautiful, on Park Ave.. The job itself was to be a registrar. Sounds good right? The other job, the barista job, was in the gross part of the east village. Not really unsafe (well, no more unsafe than my neighborhood) but it was in the "chinatown" part - I don't know a better way to put it. But it was dirty. Selling squid on the street, lots of garbage and unbelievable smells. Nasty. But you know what??? And this is where NYC is weird- you make way, WAY, WAY more money at the crappy place in the east village. She - barista queen- said that she'd let me know by tonight so my fingers are VERY crossed. Not only am I broke, but I need money.

And I'll tell you why.

HINT: It's part of the plan (and I'm a lady with a plan.)

I'm moving in with Chris and some other guy (who will remain faceless I imagine for awhile) on August 1st. So... I'm moving to San Francisco. Why? You might ask?? CAUSE I CAN. I don't have any single reason not to.

GOALS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR:
1. Meet Paul Rudd (done)
2. Move to NYC (done)
3. Do a New York Audition (done (about 7 times) and totally interested in not doing again)
4. Fully realize clothing line (press packet, business cards, online sales, boutique additions)
5. World Take Over (working on it)

GOALS FOR NEXT 3 YEARS:
1. Success as entrepreneur (poss. store, insurance, own business, design studio, San Fran/New York/Seattle stores)
2. Own a English Bulldog named either Ernie or Wellington (steal my names and I'll cry)
3. Own home or apartment and/or have enough money for regular travel (at least 3 times a year)
4. Boyfriend with fancy accent and/or mohawk (I just cut my friend Tim's hair into a mohawk yesterday and I decided they are the ideal boyfriend haircut)
5. Publish blog and photography book as concrete examples of how to lead life of ballsie female.

THINGS I DON'T WANT TO DO:
1. Open a bed and breakfast with flower wallpaper.
2. Own several cats
3. Have fat, boring boyfriend or beautiful boyfriend with no sense of humor
4. Work any of the following jobs:

dental hygenist

middle manager

anywhere I feel validated by getting a new keyboard

jobs with rigid schedules, in buildings with no windows, any place that counts your "sick" days as "paid vacation" days.

I don't want to be the guy or know the guy who picks roadkill of the road

Big dreams. I know. But, I'm a lady with a plan. And, if anyone asks... I'm Betsy Morris. I'm the Betsy Morris who is living in Manhattan and moving to San Francisco. The Betsy who just applied for a scholarship ticket to Burning Man (thanks Ben) because she believes if she wants to go bad enough she can manifest a way. Miss Morris who is 26 years old and plans on learning 3 years worth of life experience in one year, who wants a dog and job. The Betsy Morris with a plan to own her own business. THAT lady with a plan.

AMEN!